


Wherever It Points

by Wierdowithagun



Series: Follow Your Arrow [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Fluff, Kakuhida - Freeform, M/M, Swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-01
Updated: 2016-06-24
Packaged: 2018-07-11 15:11:43
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 27,389
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7057639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wierdowithagun/pseuds/Wierdowithagun
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kind of sequel to FYA but not actually really a sequel. Just a series of one-shot moments from after the FYA timeline I just felt like doing for no particular reason.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Being the emotional person I am, I can't seem to detach myself from the Characters that I both did and didn't create and had to stop resisting and spend a little quality time with them in the form of some cute and/or funny and/or fluffy little one-shot moments that occurred within the huge time gap between the High School reunion and Hidan's speech/spontaneous proposal. You know me... I get ideas and just gotta run with them.
> 
> Figured you guys would all enjoy it too. ;)

~~**(Follow Your Arrow)** ~~  
**Wherever it Points**

 

 

_I._ _Role-model_

 

 

 

_Bullshit._

The only word he could really think at the moment, given the circumstances. It's one thing to be tired, he was always tired, it was something he'd sort of adapted to since a certian nuisance had come into his life. It was the kind of tired no amount of rest or sleep could fix, _wary_ might perhaps be a better description... or perhaps not because who the bloody hell gave a damn about proper terms and eloquence when he had just gotten home after a three-day business trip to a conference that had absoloutly _not_ been worth the trouble of going except for the whole 'mandatory' aspect.

Imagine, losing his entire practice and career just because he refused to go sit through a few days of idiotic lectures in which some young big-city doctor thought they were big shots and rambled on the whole time about basic knowledge and results of recent surveys that were deemed 'important' despite them making absoloutly no progress or difference in the medical world, making jokes and cracking smiles as if being likeable were all it took.

Tedious and stupid. Those were the only accurate definitions for the whole thing.

Speaking of stupid...

"Hidan!" He barked, side stepping the pair of muddy shoes thrown on the floor, a migraine already starting to gnaw at the back of his skull. There was no answer immediately, he made it through the foyer, pissed at the shape of it, a jacket tossed onto the floor _directly beside_ the coat rack, a pair of discarded jeans that hadn't even had the belt pulled out from the loops shoved into the corner, another pair of shoes, these ones clean at the very least, but still tossed without consideration to the edge of the room.

 

_Buuuullshit._

 

He growled under his breath as he stepped into the living room, in faaar worse shape than the entryway. Clothes scattered everywhere, drinks left unattended on the coffee table, a blanket halfway on the couch and halfway _under_ it, a wrinkled pillow, and good God the _stench._

"HIDAN!" He shouted now, dropping his suitcase in favor of clenching his hands over and over, closing his eyes, trying to calm down before he went on a rampage and actually and literally destroyed the entire bloody house.

There was no other word for it, bullshit is all it was. Complete and utter bullshit. Of course this would happen, after all he'd repeatedly hammered into that little twerps head that he was _not_ to go to Kakuzu's house for anything other than to bring his mail in and do his laundry. It was bad enough torturing himself the entire time wondering what that lunatic would do with access to _his_ home and _his_ things, how that moron would handle this new responsibility and telling himself over and over and _over_ again that Hidan could, in fact, be trusted not to fuck everything up, after all he had a spare key to the clinic and had never done anything horrible there. He'd spent the night multiple times here with him and KNEW how the Doctor liked things to be kept orderly, and the way he'd begged and pleaded as if he were sentenced to murder instead of just staying away Kakuzu had thought that maybe, just maybe, he would take this responsibility seriously... All the endless _infuriating_ worrying and constantly telling himself it would be fine, that everything was fine and surely the psychotic man wouldn't have a fit and destroy all his possessions and finally feeling better about it when he came back and everything on the outside of the house seemed usual and he thought perhaps he'd worried over nothing and he should trust Hidan a little more but then he goes and _trashes the place!_

"I don't think so you little ingrate." He snarled under his breath, storming through the house, grinding his teeth harder and harder as he passed the disheveled kitchen, the bathroom which actually wasn't that bad that he saw in his quick glance except the musky smell of a few wet towels that had been dropped carelessly to the ground and left there.

The bedroom door was cracked open just barely, the humming sound of a fan came from inside and with yet another growl he shoved it open harder than he intended, wincing and rising to another level of pissed when it slammed into the wall behind. Hidan would be paying for any damage, this was his fault anyway.

"Hidannn..." He ground through clenched teeth. There was no one in here, though there clearly had been, the bed was a mess with a blanket tossed as if someone had woke up in a huge rush, the pillow still had a bit of an indention in it where someone had slept. Without rationalizing it to himself he scanned for an open window of the two in the room. There wasn't one, which meant the albino hadn't heard him calling and booked it out of there, it meant he'd already been gone.

"Of course he would be." He mumbled to himself, getting further irritated that he was now talking to himself. Honestly, he was already dead tired from that ridiculous trip, and he had to come home to this. He'd likely end up having to clean it up himself, Hidan was incapable of doing any sort of a decent job cleaning unless Kakuzu walked him through it step by step as he'd had to do at work but who had time for that, or hell, who had such patience!?

He glared hard at the twisted bedspread, absently reaching to turn off the bedside fan he recognized as the cheap piece of plastic he'd gotten for the pale little idiot after his first few nights at his _own_ apartment.

 _'It's too goddamn quiet.'_ He'd complained in a rather nice voice, gruff from lack of sleep, after coming into work looking very similar to a homeless person. _'I just can't fucking sleep.'_ Hidan didn't sleep much anyway, well, that wasn't true he had been sleeping much more like a normal human being recently, So Kakuzu introduced the idea of white noise to him which of course the loudmouth had thought was ridiculous despite it turning out to work rather well... But aside from that it had actually been a rather pleasant day with the insane miscreant. Grumpy, short-tempered, frustrated, but still calm and quieter than usual Hidan was probably the most endearing personality he'd seen yet on the boy. Or maybe just the least annoying, hell if he knew or cared. Idiot had too many personalities as it was.

He humph'd and tried idly to smooth out the wrinkles in the sheets. He ought to just go start cleaning now, being so late on Sunday as it was, surely Hidan would wander back soon, he'd like to at least have half of it done before he had to turn right around and start cleaning that insufferable brats blood off the walls after the doctor beat the hell out of him.

Despite this thought he found himself shrugging out of his coat, laying it gently across the dresser and more or less gracefully collapsing onto the mattress.

Maybe it could wait, it wasn't as if the mess was going anywhere, and besides he shouldn't be so submissive, cleaning up a mess he didn't make. What the hell was happening to him to even consider such a thing so naturally?

His brows creased despite his eyes having slid themselves shut involuntarily. Hidan, damn him, it was as if he'd been letting that albino idiot chip away at him, carving him into something else. He'd concluded after one of Hidan's little breakdowns that his ... _significant other (Mother of Franklin that was still such a strange way to think of the boy)_ wasn't the only one who needed to work on a few aspects of his personality. He'd relented somewhat, doing his best to take small baby steps in being less critical of the idiot... And it's pretty evident that he'd taken far too big of step here.

He inhaled deeply, letting the breath out in a growl he didn't really have much reason for except that the bed smelled... _really_ good actually. Like Hidan... Which would make sense seeing as he'd clearly been sleeping here for two nights, probably tossing and turning like he did so much since the doctor hadn't been here for him to smash himself against like a refreshing cold pack pressed into his back...

His eyes snapped open and he shoved himself up off the furniture in one quick, smooth motion. What the hell was he doing!? He was supposed to be pissed at that pale neanderthal not daydreaming about him! Damn it all there he goes again going and manipulating him without even BEING HERE!

"Fuck!" He snapped, then growling loudly and throwing his hands up after saying something so goddamned Hidan-like in his frustration. He whirled, realizing that now the smell had sunk into his clothes and now he couldn't get that pleasant aroma out of his head because it was literally all over him, and stormed into the bathroom, snarling out a series of curse-words and threats when he saw Hidan's comb and hair gel and _strands of silver fucking hair_ all over the sink and floor and shower. Good God that man shed like an animal!

Refusing to let himself care, he grabbed everything, even the bath mats and threw it out the door, slamming it shut and rattling damn near the whole house. To think, he'd almost let himself fall asleep and release this rage, then Hidan would have gotten off easily and no lesson would be learned. No, that fucking inconsiderate child was going to pick up every last speck of his mess if Kakuzu had to sit there with a goddamned cattle prod and poke him every time he tried to make an excuse or weasel his way out of it.

He let himself grin a bit while turning on the shower faucet to the right temperature, picturing the ways he was going to throttle that man whenever he had the misfortune to return here. He could see it now, he would walk through the door, see Kakuzu, he'd probably try to butter him up with that absurd crooked grin of his and tell him he missed him and he'd come juuust close enough for Kakuzu to reach out and grab him by the throat. His eyes would go wide and he'd start his usual writhing around and blabbering in defense and ooohhhhhhh the Doctor smiled darkly to himself as he removed the scented clothing and stepped into the shower... He would turn that _perfect_ shade of red as he realized he wasn't going to get away and he'd start trying to fight back and you know actually Hidan was rather hard to contain when he really got worked up, the agile little shit. Like a swarm of mosquitos, he'd get you a little here, squirm out of your grip, get you a little on the other side, run off, then pounce on you from out of nowhere when you tried to chase him down. Not as if it was hard to get him off but that determined little zealot sometimes took quite awhile to wear down when he really went for it... Hyperactive damn child.

He blinked again, having to resist the urge to slap himself. HE WAS DOING IT AGAIN! Dammit! Wouldn't that little pest just fucking come back already so he could just get it over with and go to sleep and forget about it? They both had to work tomorrow after all and he didn't need this rage hanging over him while they tried to be decent respectable people around each other and all he wanted to do was take a damn nine-iron after the twerp.

He took another deep breath, pushing it from his mind, pushing all of it; the annoying flight, the cheap motel room where _everything_ was covered in ugly, matching, floral print, the droning on and on of arrogant, young, fresh-out-of-college doctors, the cold, uncomfortable bed, the stark raving frustration of having nothing to consume the time wasted doing absolutely nothing because there wasn't anything to do that struck any sort of interest.

Then he had to come back home wanting to just relax and catch up on his usual minimal four hours of sleep only to find it in the state it was in and unable to relax due to said mess created by his goddamned _teenager_ of an infatuation.

He sighed deeply...

_Bullshit._

 

 

* * *

 

 

It was about four after midnight when the Doctor finally heard his front door open without a knock. He paused in his act of scrubbing down the counter where _someone_ had spilled what appeared to be an entire cup of coffee and just let it sit there and caramelize to the area, making it nice and thick and sticky to the point where he'd actually had to scrape it off with a butter knife before scrubbing the remainder.

He continued staring down, expressionless at the counter while the flame of wrath that erupted inside ate away at him. The door was closed roughly as if it had been kicked shut, there was a shuffling of papers, a breathy string of swears and when he finally dared to look up he was finally rewarded, meeting the eyes of his nemesis that instantly shot to huge proportions.

The corner of his mouth crooked up in evil glee as they stared between each other, Hidan looking like a deer in headlights, though... a very tired deer with exhausted bloodshot and baggy eyes. Not that that could break through the brick wall of fury the Doctor had built in the few hours he'd been trying in vain to get the place tidied up.

"You're back." The younger said, his voice cracking but eyes looking the darker man up and down with interest.

Kakuzu said nothing, only put down the sponge and wiped his hands on his already thoroughly dirty, halfway unbuttoned shirt, not breaking eye contact. He gestured with one arm to the state of the house, the younger didn't budge, still ogling silently with those damned eyes, more purple now against the reddened background.

 _Breathe._ Right, Hidan had done a lot of things far worse than this, he'd been far angrier with him than he was now, miles and miles farther. Like a month ago when he'd tackled him down off that stage and let everyone and their dead grandmother in on what was supposed to be a secret of utmost importance. Oh he could have killed him then, and very nearly actually did, he had to remind himself, after Kisame had drug him off the runt three separate times during the course of the rest of the night. As if trying to upgrade the clinic to a larger and more adequate building weren't a challenge enough, of course that ingrate had no idea how much stress that was alone, how much more it added having to do all that damage control with the rumors, even if it turned out most people had nothing to say about it... Well not to him at least. Kisame certainly had been getting in more fistfights, coming into the clinic twice now after having a glass bottle smashed across his face once and the second time bringing the attacker from the first time who had a broken nose and very, _very,_ broken pride. Hidan showed up at his house only once with a darkened eye and matching bruise on his collarbone, sporting a torn shirt with a bit of blood spatter on it. _"Don't worry, it's not mine."_ He'd said, as if _Hidan's_ safety were the first thing he'd worry about.

Come to think of it though that had been nearly half a year ago though when their relationship had still been a blessed secret...  What the hell dispute had that been over again? Bah, hell if he cared, Everything just blurred together now.

Honestly with the reputation the two men had, Hidan; Impulsive, temperamental, vulgar, unashamed and the Doctor; narcissistic, cold, heartless... Most people were probably just too frightened to say a word about it, or perhaps were still in shock that two people as mean and nasty as they were labeled could understand the meaning of 'relationship'. Add a person who looked the way Kisame did into the mix defending the two (Kakuzu really wished he wouldn't for multiple reasons, but that man and his damn loyalty, what could he do?) and it went surprisingly smoothly, Which of course Hidan constantly rubbed in his face...

"So... uh... I'm gonna clean this up."

"Damn right you are."

"Yep. I'm on it." They continued staring at each other for a few more heartbeats before the Doctor's patience sent out a warning flare.

" _Well!?"_ He barked, upset when Hidan didn't jump and instantly start shuffling around to get started.

Nope, there it was, that toothy smirk. Kakuzu ground his teeth, trying not to stare, Hidan just adjusted the load in his arms and the strap of his laptop bag. With a box of what looked like files under one arm and his computer on the other, in a collared pale blue shirt. Fuck he looked so... _Mature._

Damn it all he looked _good._

Kakuzu's eyes narrowed further, if that were possible.

"I missed you." The enemy stated, completely at ease, just as the larger man had predicted. Oblivious, smiling fool, one of the very few people who was stupid enough to not be afraid of him, to _never_ have been afraid of him. Of course the reason was obvious, aside from being a little masochist, that damn brain was just too small to understand danger.

"Clearly. I can't help but believe you while my nostrils are assaulted by your handiwork." He said back. "I'm impressed with your dedication to destroying my home. I was afraid I might come home and get to relax for a change."

Silver brows shot up in amusement. "Trip was shit huh?"

"Entirely. Clean this up. Now."

"Toldja you shoulda just taken some of that Cognac in the freezer."

"Hidan..."

"And let me guess you stayed in the shittest, nastiest, dirtiest motel you could find hm?"

Kakuzu only sighed and put his head in his hands.

"You know  _Dr. Nara_ says you have to take time to take care of yourself every day. Fucking namby-pamby shit, But for real Kuzu you should spend and extra penny on yourself once in awhile so I don't keep having to cheer up to your grouchy ass. I have enough shit to deal with, seriously."

Inhale slowly, exhale. He clenched his eyes shut,  _hold your temper, it's not worth it._

"You better not have picked up a hooker. I'll be so pissed Kuzu, seriously, I might have to do something drastic-"

A tanned hand slammed onto the countertop, giving the old man the reaction he'd wanted in the first place via Hidan jumping slightly in surprise. "If you don't get your shit and get out of my sight in _ten seconds_ then _I'M_ going to do something drastic!"

Hidan stared at him for a few awkward seconds as if he'd said something horribly offensive. "Good God Kuzu you just got back! Can you stop trying to fuck me? I'm damn tired." He finally stated with overdramatic disbelief, turning and starting toward the bedroom. "Man, fucking rude."

Unfortunately he glanced back just in time to see the furious grizzly in the shape of a human rounding the counter and bearing down on his heels and escaped marginally unscathed.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The worst part about Hidan living rather successfully on his own was that his confidence seemed to have skyrocketed, and this was not a good thing when it came to their interactions together. Especially recently, he had this new irritating little habit of acting as if _Kakuzu_ of all people was a chore to deal with, the nerve of that little shit. Always mentioning how tired he was and how he had a lot to do and then Kakuzu finds him just sitting there staring into the distance or doing some stupid, meaningless task at work like sorting the desk drawers or finding all the rubber bands in the building and wrapping them into a ball when he had _far_  more pertinent things to get done. 

He didn't know the little idiot before all this, didn't know what he was like, though he had gotten a taste of it a few times after being 'with' him for over two years now and lots of alcohol-filled nights and various similar but also still different temper tantrums that usually just ended in sex instead of actually solving whatever problem had caused that idiot to short-circuit... He didn't know the people the twit associated with before he'd come here, how he spent twenty-two years of time and somehow still had zero skills or achievements when he'd come kicking and screaming in and turned the Doctor's entire existence upside down. But he could gather a pretty good idea, though really it was kind of strange that Hidan _never_ spoke of it, not of any of it... Well, what concern was it of his anyway? It wasn't as if the stone-hearted Doctor ever revealed much of anything about his past either. Hidan certainly wasn't that person anymore, not with Kakuzu's help. If he took the time to really think and try to sort through all the fogginess, He'd grown up a lot. Now instead of being an annoying loudmouthed that ranted about things that made NO sense for him to be so concerned about (such as poorly laid lines in a parking lot or why the moon had phases but not the sun), he was now an annoying loudmouth that ranted about things like controversial social debates like breastfeeding in public or not vaccinating children or legalization of Marijuana (All of these only the most recent as there were _tons_ more) or some such nonsense that was equally as stupid to Kakuzu himself but was better than the ridiculous trivial nonsense he'd concerned himself with before.  He was something entirely new now Than he'd been back at the beginning, though still just as exhausting as ever.

 

" _Hey_... _Kuzu?_ "

Kakuzu groaned and repositioned himself. Dear Benjamin he was hearing Hidan in his sleep now, not only that, now it was waking him up!

"Go... _away_..." He ground out, not sure what was happening or why, and certainly not caring, just wanting to continue sleeping.

Silence. Ahh, how wonderful.

It was actually a little disappointing, for reasons he couldn't begin to fathom and frankly was pissed at himself for tiring himself with such useless emotion over something like this; how quickly the zealot was becoming something else. How easily he was adapting and taking on new challenges, handling them with such grace. It wasn't natural, really... Even Kakuzu had had his share of problems trying to learn the in's and outs of living on your own, and he'd practically been doing it since he was 14 when his mother passed.

And he didn't like in in another way, he thought... Because Hidan was... well... He wasn't Hidan anymore. He was, still sarcastic, foul-mouthed as ever, but different. Not as energetic, not as curious about the dumbest, most insignificant things. He never saw that childlike wonder that had been so frustratingly fascinating out of the man anymore. His mood swings that normally came and went with the ferocity and indecisiveness of the weather had calmed significantly, still there but usually subdued... _controlled._.. If the old man were to be  _completely_  honest with himself, and only himself and never anyone else... well he sort of missed him. Sort of. Especially over the last three days and two nights.

Only in the way that when he wasn't sitting in a chair around other men his age or older than him, most of them there for the actual fact that they _were_ older and now had to be introduced to all the new technologies and developments in medicine and given a general run-by on changed rules and 'You can't do this anymore because it could cause a lawsuit' and 'This procedure is now strictly prohibited unless directly requested by the patient' and 'This new research suggests that so-and-so might actually being making the problem its supposed to treat worse so don't do it until we find out but here's an equally damaging alternative that's twice as expensive', when he wasn't sitting there listening to these boring, monotonous, droning, preaching, lectures about things he generally already knew (Because he's a smart person and made and established it as a habit when he first started his clinic to keep up with things like that. After all the way he went about his doctoring was considered unprofessional already in the world of medicine so he had to take every precaution) he was sitting in a hotel room, restless and bored and of course irritated. This didn't happen very often as the conference had lasted the entire three days he'd been there both nights in which he hadn't spent doing that he quite literally had done nothing else, couldn't even get any sort of decent sleep on the horrible beds.

He hated cities, all the bustleing and rushing. Towering buildings, enormous crowds that didn't give the slightest clue that they were aware of your presence but would gladley make faces at you and make you feel like a complete moron if you even had the smallest projection of how lost and insignificant you felt showing on your face. It reminded him of his college days, the _initial_ college days, before he'd ever met Kisame or anyone that had even temporarily accompanied him and had any real friends at all. He hated cities yes, with a burning passion, and had no intention of wandering out in it when he wasn't 'working' all alone.

So... Maybe he'd missed Hidan. But only in the way that... maybe if the irritating runt had been there with him he wouldn't have been so damn _bored..._

Honestly it was all Hidan's fault in the first place that he even _got_ bored anymore. In all the years (and that's a _lot_  of years) that he'd been going to those things he'd done exactly the same thing and never had any sort of conflict with it, not until now.

Everything was changing... And so damn quickly. Quickly, but slowly at the same time. It had been a bit over two years after all. It seemed like such a long time and yet really didn't in the grand scheme of things, just for the fact that so much had happened in that timeframe when the previous 40 plus years of his life everything had progressed with perfect timing, exactly according to schedule. No surprises, nothing interesting. Just plain... boring... normal life...

" _Kakuzu..._ "

Again the voice invaded his head and he stirred slightly. Bloody hell he thought this problem was solved! Two nights of very close to no sleep, comes home to a demolished house, and now he couldn't even rest.

Maybe if he just ignored him he'd go away...

He heard a soft sigh and what sounded like knuckles popping, which brought him instantly to full awareness. Surely that little shit wouldn't have the audacity to hit him just to wake him up, if he did he'd better be ready to learn a whole new level of pain. Just because maybe he'd missed him didn't mean he wanted to forego any chance for sleep he had to trouble himself with the imbicile and whatever nonsense would arise of it...

He didn't receive any punches or shoves or anything of the like, the door squeaked shut (it did that now since Kakuzu had kicked it open earlier) and that was the end of it. And now the older man laid stareing into the dark in confusion.  
He rolled to his other side, stareing at the door quizically. Just wait... he'd run in here in a bit and body slam him or come in buck naked and try to squirm under the covers and use sex to get out of cleaning up the house.

Five minutes... Ten minutes. Nothing.

He rolled his eyes, now that he was wide awake and it was- He rolled his head to look at the alarm clock- nearly daylight outside anyway and he still had quite a bit of work to do that was building each second that he chose to try and sleep in instead of going at the usual time, he might as well get up and go check on the incompetent fool.

As he rose and contemplated whether to put proper clothes on or wait until he'd woken up fully he also wondered idley how ironic it was that he was wrong yet again. It was true that every time he thought Hidan had no surprises left in store he was proved tragically wrong but this situation was different for the fact that... well... he didn't really know. But it was incredibly irritating, even moreso because he had no idea why.

He decided, after standing and stareing at his closet blankley for a few lasting moments, to just not bother with clothing. Another thing that had changed, The normally efficient, punctual doctor wasted so much time now just being lazy. It was hard not to spare a few moments when dealing with such exhausting things as what he now dealt with on a daily basis without end or break.

He was in the livingroom before he knew it, and was pleased that Hidan had actually done a rather good job of cleaning up, did he even wipe the dust off the shelving? _Impressive._ Maybe he would get off his back a little, he'd done what he'd been asked after all.

He blinked out of the thought, realizing Hidan was nowhere around. Strange... he never left so... politley.

Swallowing hard for some reason and feeling very not himself, the doctor continued toward the garage simply out of a gut feeling which was reinforced when he noticed the light in the laundry was on and as he stepped just a bit closer he was assaulted by the distinct smell of cigarette smoke.

His small amount of satisfaction with the pale lover of his divebombed into anger and exhaustion. "Hell _no."_ He growled, grabbing the door and sliding it forcefully open and glaring down at his employee that looked like he really just might shit himself, stareing back at him in wide-eyed, speechless silence.

He moved his vision from Hidan to the cigarette between his fingers then back to Hidan and the younger jolted into action, rushing to put it out in the bottom half of a coffee can he'd cut up apparently just to use as an ashtray.

Kakuzu only waited, knowing that if he so much as spoke he would most likley snap and murder the man. For one, Hidan had lied to him, telling him nearly two months ago that he'd finally quit, he'd even put on quite the superior act about it too. Secondly, what screw came loose in that broken mind to make him think it would be okay under ANY circumstances to do that in _his_ house!?

His anger quickly deflated, however, as Hidan didn't even attempt to get up and only looked up at him with sad eyes that damn well could have belonged on a puppy.

"...Sorry." He mumbled low, averting his gaze.

"Good for you. Are you going to explain?" Kakuzu snapped right back, keeping his firmly planted.

"No. Not really."

He was taken back by this, and left bewildered for a moment. He recovered though, thanks to the quickly returning anger. "What the hell do you mean 'not really'?" And to think, he'd just been feeling as if Hidan being mature wasn't natural and how he might have missed his moodswings. He should really learn to just stop feeling at all.

"Why the hell should I?"

"Hidan dammit you wake me up and I come out here to find _this!_ You had better explain if you have any appeal to the idea of ever stepping foot in this house again!"

Finally those still dark magenta eyes met his, and yet again the anger washed away, this time replaced with actual concern. Hidan didn't say anything at all, alarming in and of itself, and the Doctor was kind of glad he didn't. He knew that look all too well, and now that he thought about it, was a little surprised he hadn't recognized it earlier when Hidan had first come in.

_"I have enough shit to deal with."_

_"I'm damn tired."_

Alright, he could do this without making Hidan blow up, surely he could, he'd already had so many experiences dealing with these temper tantrums, he could do it. He was prepared this time, and it'd been so long since the last one, months actually. He could do this with as minimal effort as possible. He blinked, damn it all, if only he had a time machine to go back and punch himself in the face. How did he not see it? 

"Come on." He said, nodding his head behind him and turning to leave the tobacco-drenched room. He made it two steps back toward the main area of the house before he noticed Hidan wasn't following, and backtracked. Again he was met with surprise and confusion to see him still just sitting on the floor, with his head in his hands now.

"Hidan..." He said, warning in his tone.

"I can't work your stupid washing machine..." The younger finally said in what Kakuzu could have swore was a growl.

Breathing deeply, the older stepped into the room. He pushed the few buttons on the machine, the settings were all over the place, probably a result of Hidan attempting to run it. It was a pretty new model, with all sorts of buttons and flashing lights, no wonder he couldn't figure it out, Hidan and his short attention span. But that wasn't the problem, he knew Hidan much better now than to think something so simple is really the problem. As childish as he was, Hidan wasn't _that_ stupid. 

He blinked, what a strange thought to think so easily. _Two years, how long and incredibly short._

The machine came to life and he turned, stareing down at the folded over man. "Alright, it's done, come on out of this room. Stinks in here."

"Can't fucking even manage to wash clothes... Can't stop myself from smoking even though I didn't even want to. I was just trying to fucking stay calm until you woke up. What the fuck is wrong with me?" Hidan mumbled, staring intently at the wall on the other side of the tiny room as if it were actually speaking to him, about to share some all important secret .

Kakuzu stared. "It looks far more complicated than it is. I'll show you later." Hidan had been hinting at it all this time, but really how was he supposed to know when usually the dumbass just did something outrageously stupid and obnoxious to get someone's attention when he was having one of his 'issues.' Like what he was doing right now.

"No. I don't even want to."

There was that damn headache again pricking at his skull.

 _Alright, enough of this_. What the hell was he thinking? Hidan never responded to the Doctor's attempts at being kind and considerate when he was having a mood. "Get up." He demanded, stepping over to him, when he didn't do as instructed the older man grabbed him by the arm and yanked him up and dragged him out to the living room, ignoring the threats and profanity slung at him as he did. Using his weight he hauled Hidan around him, letting go so that he was thrown onto the couch.

"Kakuzu would you fucking _quit_! I know how to walk on my own! Fuck!"

"Shut up." He snapped, both happy and irritated when the pale man did as instructed, though glaring much like a child being told no.

"Stop moping, we've been through this enough times for you and I both to know that this behavior only means something is wrong. Instead of acting like a pair of senseless emotional teenagers and bickering and fighting, why don't you just come out with it."

Hidan still didn't respond right away, though he let down his glare and was chewing his lip in thought, flicking his eyes around the room as if the words he were searching for rested there.

Trying to contain himself, Kakuzu looked away too, noticing that the morning had officially begun and daylight was leaking in through the curtains.

"Have you been up all night?" He asked aloud without getting the chance to think it first. Damn, he was still so tired...

"Yeah... it's not a big deal."

" _Yes_ , it is. You're tired and exhausted, look at you. That's probably half the cause of whatever your problem is."

"Tch. I haven't slept the last two nights either! Who cares!?"

Again Kakuzu was taken back but this time it lit the spark on the anger he'd continuously been trying to repress since he'd been home. "Who the hell do you _think_ cares you idiotic child!? I kept my temper when you trashed my house and acted as if nothing at all was wrong with that, when you woke me from a long-awaited sleep and proceeded to smoke in my laundry room instead of just going outside like anyone with common decency would have done, and here I am trying to help you though I have no damn idea why and you're asking _who cares!?_ " He growled, leaning down toward the younger in an unintentional but still usually effective show of intimidation.

Hidan rebounded, jumping from the couch and stomping up close to scream _directly_ in the Doctors face. "I cleaned your goddamn house you fucking miserable codger! And your fucking stupid neighbor was outside sitting on the porch like the creeper he is and quitting smoking is pretty much the only fucking thing anyone gives me credit for in this stupid goddamn town so I didn't want rumors going around that I'm a fucking liar on top of everything else I constantly have to put up with!"

The doctor managed to remain silent now only for the fact that that kind of made sense in a way only Hidan could make it. Anyone else came at him with that he'd probably call them a imbecile and hit them. He could have at the very least taken the three more steps it took to get from the laundry room to the garage, Then again Kakuzu had an oil leak a few months ago and thought the leak had been fixed, he'd never actually cleaned up the large puddle it had made and even he would admit it left a  _horrible_ odor, one of the reasons he never parked in there anymore.

"Anything else I've done wrong you want to fucking give me shit about because I know you've got a god damned arsenal in there!" He pointed to Kakuzu's head at this. "Two fucking days of hell I don't get to see you and you come back with all your fucking guns loaded huh!? What about 'Thanks for keeping the clinic open and getting me more money while I was gone Hidan!' Or fuck even something like 'Hello.' would be more preferable than you just immediately fucking railing into me! I'm fucking SORRY I was here while you were gone okay? I just... it's _really_ hard when you're not around."

He stopped and started pacing around the living room, Kakuzu only stayed in place doing his best not to smirk. He was really worked up... like it used to be. Shouting incoherently but still somehow sort of making sense even though he really didn't and _damn_ why did he look so good in such a pitiful state with his clothes all rumbled and sleep-deprived eyes that somehow still held all that fiery, angry energy and damndamn _damn_ you old man get ahold of yourself.

He could accept this much, Hidan had missed him, that was... understandable, he supposed. Honestly Kakuzu had more or less expected this to happen, he could now say since he'd gotten the minimum 4 hours of sleep and the disarray of his house wasn't eating away at the back of his consciousness.

"You know I don't even know what I'm doing most of the goddamn time, You're _always_ right there you know? Telling me what to do and how to do it. I hate when you're not around, I hate it. Nothing makes sense, shit doesn't work like it's supposed to and my head starts getting all 'Oh gee Hidan's having a hard time better make him fucking FUCK himself over!'" He did the last in a mock voice that made it very hard for the Doctor not to crack a small smile, instead he just crossed his arms over each other and continued watching the show.

"And with all this moving and shit to the other building people are still confused so instead of me staying and handling things there while you're at the other getting all that fucking shit sorted I have to constantly figure out how to get back and forth and then even after all that's over with this stupid fucking online schooling is turning out to be a bunch of horse shit. I've barely even gotten into all the gen-ed shit and I feel like my heads going to explode! As if I needed another reason to feel like a fucking brainless piece of trash. And even worse than that I still have all this fucking dept to pay off and now I have rent and electricity and of course the stupid internet that I need to the stupid fucking 'classes' and then fucking _BOOKS!_ " He shouted incredulously, voice going shrill and throwing his hands in the air.

"Books Kakuzu! FUCKING BOOKS! Of all the fucking evils in the world I HATE books! And then they're like 40 bucks a piece and they _never_ have them at the library and I have to go pleading with Itachi to help me fucking figure out how to order them online and there's all this _reading_ and _studying_ that I don't ever have the time for because even when I do I can't concentrate because there's a _thousand_ other fucking things I have to remember and things I have to do and it's just right fucking here all the time. ALL the fucking time!" He jerked his hand towards and away from either side of his head over and over again as he ranted.

"I CAN'T FUCKING DO IT! I CAN'T BE A NORMAL, RESPONSIBLE, MATURE PERSON! How do people even do this? How do you do it? Is this why you're so pissed all the time!? God I totally fucking understand now! Money and everything money-like is such BULLSHIT! I hate this, I hate all of it so much but I _have_ to do it so you'll be proud and so I don't have to mooch and I feel like I'm just constantly bugging Itachi all the time for help and I CAN'T DO IT! I just can't fucking do it and... and I don't want you to... you know whatever... I don't know..."

He fell back onto the couch now, staring up at the ceiling and breathing hard. "It's too much. I just... needed a smoke. You were tired and I knew I'd freak out if I went back to that shitty apartment and do something stupid. I don't know what the fuck to do I took all this shit on and it's kicking my ass and I just _know_ I'm gonna screw everything up."

He couldn't hold it in anymore, and Kakuzu laughed. It started as just a quick exhale and jumped to a chuckle. Hidan of course flailed to stare at him as if he were the one making the scene. "Are you kidding me!? You sadistic son of a bitch! It's not FUNNY!" He screeched.

He held up a finger to Hidan, trying desperately to stop his face from making this terrible expression and moved to the Kitchen as means of distraction. First things first; It was morning, They had to go to work soon, and they both were in obvious desperation for a little caffeine. Hidan followed him in, staring in dramatic disbelief the whole time. "You're gonna casually fucking walk away and make coffee? "

"Yes."

"You ASSHOLE! Like this isn't fucking humiliating every single fucking time this happens you're not gonna fucking say ANYTHING?"

He could only shake his head, not trusting himself to form words until he could stop the laughter that still itched at the back of his throat.

"Whah... but don't you want to insult me or something? Call me stupid? Tell me I'm overreacting? Come on you old bitch I know you can come up with something."

Deep inhale, Get it together. Straight face. "No."

"Why the hell not!? Jesus fucking christ I just laid it all out on the table like you told me to do and you're just gonna ignore me?"

Kakuzu poured the water in the back of the canister and shut the lid, pressing the power button, then turned to him. "I don't really see how that was embarassing."

Hidan looked as if he'd been slapped again, so the older man just sighed and ran a hand through his own hair, still down. He _had_ asked what the problem was, he had instigated this, put himself in this position where he would now once again have to be empathetic and understanding, despite the fact that he did, in fact, want to tell him to stop whining and griping about a completly normal situation that every single person in the world ends up going through when they go out on their own, only Hidan's was a few years late.

How hilarious that he'd just been thinking but a few minutes ago about how strange it was that Hidan seemed to be having no trouble at all with everything he busied himself with... Life was still throwing him curveballs, even if he didn't recognize them until he swung and missed. Even the king of assholes couldn't keep a straight face. Here he was prepared for some sort of epic meltdown or an admission of something horrendously stupid his young partner had done like start again on drugs or attack the town Mayor or some absolutely ridiculous nonsense. He didn't really know what he expected, but he definitely didn't expect something so... normal.

"Everyone gets overwhelmed." He said simply, shrugging. "I was in dept up to my eyeballs when I came to this town. Didn't cry about it." He wondered to himself idley how bizarre this situation was for the fact that... it really wasn't. He could say to himself without a doupt that he'd never really thought Hidan would do things like an average person, even if it was mental breakdown due to overload of stress, he had those a lot, but never over such relateable things.

Struggling with money, schooling, work. Trying to juggle it all. How mind-boggling...

_He looks so good._  
_STOP IT!_

And here _he_ was acting like a normal person in a normal relationship when in any other instance he would dismiss it or state how little he cared and walk away. It wasn't his problem, it's still not his problem, except it was, completely and entirely. Mainly for the fact that Hidan San was a walking, talking problem wrapped in human skin.

Well, no. Not anymore, not really. The only thing he ever seemed to do unexpectedly anymore is show up at all hours of the night with a case of beer or some new liquor he hadn't yet tried, which was ridiculous in and of itself that there were so many different forms of alcohol.

Actually now that he really thought about it... that habit hadn't even started up until a few months ago, when he started that rediculous nonsense on the computer he called his 'schooling' actually.

"Hidan." He said, voice hard now that another thought occurred to him. Violet eyes flicked up to him, still clouded with all the questions he was holding back for whatever reason, making the doctor wonder for a second how they kept seeming to change colors so subtly like that, and why he'd never so much as given it a second thought in all this time... Then slowly blinked himself out of this train of irrelevant thought.

"You haven't been smoking behind my back have you?"

Hidan let out a huff, as if he couldn't really believe he was being asked that, though his expression suggested he was still just trying to process his thoughts. "No... I bought the pack about a month ago when I thought I was close to losing it. Itachi showed up outta nowhere and distracted me with his bullshit, forgot I even had them until you left."

...That was probably the most calm, rational, and straightforward answer he'd ever gotten from the eerily sullen man _. Maybe_ he was taking this a little too lightly. Hidan wasn't hysterical and yelling anymore, which meant the anger had passed, which meant the next part was the most exhausting and irritating one, even more so than the shouting for the fact that a depressed Hidan always seemed to somehow pass his mood on to Kakuzu through sheer osmosis. There really was nothing more irritating than watching a full grown man mope, whether he had the brain of a child or not.

"Alright, listen here." He said, resolving himself and setting his features back to unreadable mostly for the fact that this was always the most uncomfortable part of these episodes. "It's normal, believe it or not."

"...Normal?" Hidan's face tightened in confusion, making the older of the two have to take another internal deep breath, as if it were such a hard concept to understand.

"Yes. Normal. You took on more than you could handle while trying to live up to everyone's expectations. Everyone does that, some never stop doing it."

Hidan stared in confusion down at his hands as if a better explanation would magically appear there, still breathing hard from his hysterical rant a few moments ago, thinking over this apparently strange response. Kakuzu pinched the bridge of his nose to cover his uncharacteristic smirk. _This_ was what he missed, as completely irrational and stupid as it was to miss such a thing, _this_ was Hidan San. _His_ Hidan. Baffled by the simplest, most common problems while at the same time somehow still able to think deep resounding thoughts. Amazed by simplicity because he naturally assumed everything was too hard for him to understand.

Kakuzu thought, just like every other time, maybe that was a side effect of being told you were stupid your whole life. Not as if it were entirely everyone else's fault either though.

"So. You're fucking telling me that _everybody_ freaks out like this?" Hidan finally said, the confusion gone as he apparently came to some conclusion, now replaced by the usual anger.

Kakuzu raised his brows sarcastically, nodding slowly. The coffee maker bubbled behind him, the only sound in the eerily silent house. Well... of course it would be confusing for someone like Hidan who had gone their whole existence being told he wasn't normal, that he was broken and crazy.

"It's normal." Hidan mumbled to himself, squinting thoughtfully. "I'm being normal then? by freaking out like I always do?"

Kakuzu couldn't help the snort that forced it's way outta him, earning a scowl from Hidan. He turned around as the coffee maker beeped out it's signal of completion, glad for it's wonderful timing. "You'll never be normal Hidan."

"Oh..."

He could practically feel the man behind him begin to deflate again, closed his eyes shut hard, and opened them up again, looking over his shoulder. "But that's not a bad thing, in your case."

Silence, he grit his teeth through it, refusing to look back mainly for the fact that this was usually the point in time when Hidan started being either adorable by means of overcompensating for showing weakness and launching right into a petty argument which he would inevitably lose and then pout about it or become irritatingly jovial again and start making sarcastic comments and throwing casual insults around and even though the stoic old man was trying really hard not to feel one way or the other about it... well there was this damn warmth right in the center of his chest cavity and for some stupid reason his face kept trying to make him smile.

"Huh. Yeah... then I'd be boring as fuck." Hidan said bluntly.

Kakuzu took a breath. _Wait for it..._ Insults or arguement, which would it be?

"Did I ever tell you you're a badass?"

He blinked. Wait... _what?_

"Excuse me?" He said without thinking, twisting to give the younger a skeptical stare. Hidan was giving him that grin, and the doctors features set automatically back into a mask of indifference. Good thing too, because honestly he was still reeling.

_Dammit Hidan, unpredictable little shit._

"Yeah. You know... Can't really fucking explain it without going on a fucking tangent-"

"By all means then, don't."

Hidan breathed out a laugh and rolled his eyes. "You are though, just so you know, even though you probably already did, you self-righteous dick."

"Mm. As are you." He said, meaning to only think it in his head and kicking himself when instead it came out as a murmur.

"What?"

He turned around and casually took a sip of his coffee. "Nothing. "

Well, 'badass' may not be the right term, but if Kakuzu understood correctly what he was implying, (which he probably didn't but didn't feel like pursuing further lest they end up doing that annoying touchy-feely shit Hidan always somehow tricked him into doing) then Hidan... deserved a little credit too... probably... After all he was practically an actual adult now.

Hidan studied him for a moment before smiling sheepishly and reaching up to rub the back of his neck, shifting into a full-body stretch as he spoke. "You know, I don't think I'll ever be able to do what you do."

Kakuzu stared, awaiting him to explain further.

The younger wrung his hands together."Work, I mean... "

"I didn't expect you to." He said back, doing his best not to growl about it and start a bickering match. Ah, he knew where this was going now. And despite everything, he was glad it was finally happening. He hadn't ever actually expected Hidan to pursue this ludicrous idea of working side-by-side as equals in their field of work. Hidan couldn't be a doctor, And that had absolutely nothing to do with how people saw him as a person or his healing broken mentalities or any of the like. It was simply an enormous task to take on, and his young partner had far too much catching up to do to ever have a hope of it. And don't even get him _started_ on the money it took.

It was in its entirety just a childish dream Hidan had gotten in his head, and in all honesty had tried very hard with what means he had to make it happen. It wasn't as if Dr. Hoku didn't support him or expected him to fail, no, it didn't even reach that point. It was just something that wasn't going to happen. He'd never felt one way or the other about it, and humored the man-child so he might understand for himself instead of the huge fight that would likely take place over it if Kakuzu had just stated his opinions out loud. The dream was too big, the window of opportunity far, _far_ too small.

"Yeah..." Hidan said, emotions flashing across him again, thoughtful, angry, somber- "No one did... I don't even think _I_ thought I could do it." -and right back to a grin. "But you know, I think I'd be a pretty kick-ass nurse."

For however many times it had been now, Kakuzu blinked in surprise, brows going high in interest. This caught him off guard for several reasons; One being how easily Hidan just accepted defeat. That... Just didn't happen. Ever.

The second being that it was almost as if he'd been reading his mind, taking the dream and minimizing to fit through the window, persay.

Third was that he'd thought of this idea that was actually reasonable and much more realistic on his own, out of the blue, when ten seconds ago he was having trouble understanding the fact that everyone alive takes on more than they can handle at one point or several more.

"I mean you'd make more money that way right? Maybe get some of those dumbasses that stopped coming to come back if I were licensed and certified and shit? Plus you'd have one more thing to make fun of me for! So, fuckin' win-win all the way around." His face beamed brighter and brighter with each word, speaking as if it was all just now coming to him.

Having made up a mug of coffee for his excited young partner while he'd been more or less rambling on to himself, Kakuzu set it on the counter in front of him. "Sounds like a much more attainable goal. Are you done now?" He asked, not quite managing to hide the crook of his mouth that finally won it's battle. He certainly wasn't instigating anything but now he was being adorable in another sense, basically by impressing Kakuzu which still was a pretty hard thing to do, though Hidan had carved his own special set of adjustable standards in the mans mind, and anyway it was really starting to get uncomfortable with the way it was harder and harder to keep tearing his eyes away from the excited little idiot.

Hidan blinked himself out of his blabbering, finally noticing the coffee beside him and giving it a soft smile before grabbing it, holding it with both hands in a way that usually drove the Doctor nuts, especially with the way that Uchiha boy did it constantly. But for some reason he didn't really care to think much more into, it sort of... added to the whole scene. "...Yeah. I think so. Goals and shit, right?" He said, crooked smile dominating his features as his eyes locked onto Kakuzu's and made the older man's chest sort of settle strangely.

Honestly this was probably the smoothest breakdown he'd ever dealt with of Hidan's, and in all the perfect rations. It was never a matter of Hidan _changing,_ people didn't really change, not at the core, as Kisame always liked to say. Pretty spot on, the Doctor thought to himself as he nodded in response. He'd just been trying far too hard, just the same as the very first day they'd met, it was almost as if Kakuzu could _sense_ when the brat was putting on an act.

There was a peaceful silence in the room then, couldn't have been for more than a few minutes before Hidan piped up again, making the elder sigh.

"Everyone does it? No shitting?"

Was he still on this? "Everyone."

"Even Itachi? He always has his shit together, all the time."

The older man scoffed, raising the mug up to drain the last bit of liquid caffiene. "Shows how much attention you pay attention."

"Well, I mean like... aside from when he's playing mommy."

"I've watched that boy break down more times than I care to count."

Hidan considered this for a moment. "Wierd. Me too, but it still always seems like he knows what he's doing all the damn time."

Kakuzu only gave a soft, drawn-out grunt in response, finally standing up, stretching his back, and starting toward the bedroom. He'd wasted far too much time today with all this nonsense, and despite not being at the clinic for three days but feeling as if he'd done more than usual, there was still _real_ work to attend to.

"What about you?" Hidan said, not having moved from his spot but turned most likely to watch the coffee-skinned man leave.

"What _about_ me?" He said, a little disturbed when it came out in a more teasing tone than a signal to drop the subject and move on.

"You ever get overwhelmed?"

"Every second I spend with you." He replied, not missing a beat.

"Tch, you love me old man. Just admit it." Hidan shot back, finally starting to follow when the Doctor returned to his task of prepareing for work.

"It would be easier if you'd shut up once in awhile..."

Hidan made a victorious half-laugh sound, flopping onto his back on the bed and resting his head on his open palms while Kakuzu rummaged through the closet.

"Hey does this mean I can finally get a day off?"

"Absoloutly not." The doctor snapped quickl, shrugging into a deep green shirt.

The albino flailed all the way onto his stomach, the perpetual scowl he was known for back in its rightful place as if none of the last half hour had transpired. "WHAT!? But you just got three days vacation and I didn't even complain when you told me to stay and do customer relations bullshit despite the fact that they all hate my guts!"

"It was _not_ a vacation and you don't get a cookie every time you do the job I'm already paying you to do, rude customers or not."

"YOU SON OF A BITCH! You are _so_ not getting any of this ass any time soon!"

Kakuzu had to stop for a moment in his act of slipping into a pair of dark brown slacks to stare incredulously, though he managed to stay expressionless so it was more just a blank stare. "You say that as if it's a punishment."

"Just you wait fucker." The younger responded, giving an irritatingly attractive sinister smile. "I'll get you. You'll be _begging._ "

"I highly doupt that."

He moved toward the door, intending to go to the bathroom to take care of all the rest of the hygine related preparations when instead an agile pale blur jumped in front of him, taking him offguard and because of that successfully managing to shove him enough to where he stumbled backward and landed in a normal seated position on the bed.

In less time than he had to protest there was a body on top of him, lips against his and that insufferably delicious tongue forcing it's way between. Cold hands slipped up the shirt he'd only just put on, sliding along his sides and eliciting a growl from him when he couldn't resist the shudder they caused.

Hidan pulled back, and it took a couple of moments for the larger man to blink back to reality, welcomed of course by that _damned grin._

Kakuzu scowled back. _Damn it all_. There was no winning was there?

"Are you trying to get hurt?" He ground out, doing his best to seem threatening despite the fact that Hidan was most likley completley aware of what was happening down lower seeing as he was straddled over his waist.

Lips pulled back in a wicked sneer, exposing Hidan's strangley sharp canines. "As long as you don't get overwhelmed."

It was another hour until they made it to the clinic, with about twenty voicemails and a continuous surge of patients to handle. The day drug on like it would never end, and there was only word he could really think at the moment, given the circumstances.

_Bullshit._


	2. Chapter 2

  


~~**(Follow Your Arrow)  
** ~~ **Wherever it Points**

 

_II._ _Best Kind of friends_

 

 

_"Itachi." Disapproving tone, dark glare._   
_"Father." He stiffens, bows his head, begins to remove his shoes._   
_"Don't." He replies, freezing the boy in place. Slowly, he looks up, Father only stares down._   
_It's a trap, you see, to question is disrepectful, speaking out of line is unacceptable, but what is it that he had done? He remains in place, waiting for explanation, time ticks on. It's a trick, you see, a proper man has patience, discipline, and will not speak out of line. He only has to wait, play it correctly, and everything would be fine._

_"Mr. Uchiha, I'm Hidan San." A pale hand is extended out in greeting, two pairs of dark eyes land on it, his heart suddenly beating hard._   
_gdStrike one._   
_"What is the meaning of this, Itachi?" He growls, turning those dark piercing eyes on him. His mind whirls, what hidden meaning is there? Hidan blinks, slowly lowering his hand in confusion. Itachi grits his teeth, there's only the truth to tell..._   
_"I've offered my aid as a tutor, Father. He's here for help with his-"_   
_"Leave." He says sharply to the boy, without looking. "You're not welcome in this house."_

_"What? Why!?" Hidan questions, Itachi's skin crawls. Strike two._   
_"Itachi, you shame us. How could you think this was acceptable?"_   
_Understanding slams into him, arguments from a month previous flooded into him. No secrets were to be kept in this family, it showed lack of loyalty._   
_He steeled himself. "Father, He's only-"_   
_"Quiet!" He barked, the teen snapped his mouth shut, swallowing. Strike three. "It's bad enough you've chosen such a path in life, you've already cut off your own lineage. And now you let yourself succumb to temptation."_   
_Pale magenta eyes go wide, flicking to meet the son's. "Itachi..." He whispers not-so-quietly. "Does he think...?" He leaves the sentence trailing, confusion plastered across his face, then continueing on before Itachi could give an answer, if he had intended to._

_"You've got it wrong Mr. Uchiha. It ain't anything_ close _to that."_

_There's four._

_"Get out of my house, don't step foot here again. What you do on public grounds is beyond my reach but I assure you Mister Hidan San, you'll not like me should you ever return here."_   
_"DON'T FUCKING THREATEN ME OLD MAN!"_

_Five._   
_"HIDAN!"_

_"Shut up 'Tachi he can't treat us like this!"_

_Six._   
_"Hidan please stop."_

_"Listen here you." Hidan said, pointing at the towering figure, glareing hellfire down at Hidan. "Your son is a saint, but I wouldn't fuck him even with_ your _dick! So get that out of your head!"_

_Itachi whirls. Opening the door behind then, latching onto Hidan's wrist and nearly lunging through the opening. Too many mistakes. Far too many..._

_The door slams hard behind them as he pulls his friend along, ignoring the protests and resistance. This is going to be a_ very _bad night._

 

 

_._

 

 

"I can't take you anywhere." Itachi muttered with a sigh, fishing through his pockets for the car keys.

Hidan sighed dramatically, kicking up a step in front of him and turning to walk backwards. "For the hundredth time, it wasn't my goddamn fault."

"Oh _nooo_ of course not Hida, no. You had every right to put on that chauvinistic display." The Uchiha shot back sarcastically, actually stopping now as he dug through his pockets with more determination.

"You're my witness 'Tachi. I asked him nicely. Twice."

The slightly younger of the two huffed out a laugh of disbelief. "Okay, Hida, First; 'Shut the hell up' is not _nice_. Just because you put it in the form of a question and slapped a 'please' on the end does not make it _nice."_

"Well you heard that shit didn't you? I've never heard someone suck another persons face like that _ever_. Sounded like a fucking dog licking it's ass! Why is that disgusting shit considered normal but people with fucking class and self-respect like us are treated like trash!?"

"And secondly;" Itachi went on, unphased by the outburst and ignoring it completley for the fact that it would only drag out what was already a pointless arguement anyway. "I couldn't hear anything over you slurping your drink like a neanderthal and shoving your mouth full of popcorn the entire time. _Crunch, crunch, crunch,_ Honestly I thought I was going to have to hit you."

"And why were they making out during a fucking action movie? It wasn't even during those stupid _fluffy_ parts." The pale man said, doing exactly the same as his friend had done. "Those douchebags had to be like twenty-something, pulling that shit. That's just gross. At least with dumbass high schoolers it would be something I could ignore, everyone is trying to get tail at that age. Except that guy apparently, makes out like a fucking walrus."

Itachi rolled his eyes, jaw clamped firmly to prevent the smile that poked at the edges of his mouth. He was so distracted, the poor man, it was as if his dearest friends head were going 100 miles an hour trying to hide the fact from him. But at least it was one of his more humorous moods, loud and annoying but harmless.

Well... perhaps not harmless, at least not for that poor couple. But as embarrassing as it had been to have to do the walk of shame with the man shouting his childish threats and insults, and that poor girl would probably never want to be seen in public again with her boyfriend getting into such a rediculous squabble with Hidan, it wasn't as if he'd been really able to even watch the damn movie anyway. And honestly what was the point of spending time together in two hours of complete silence watching a screen and practically ignoring each other's existence? He constantly had to make this same arguement to Kisame...

"Dammit," He let out a fast sigh, digging furiously through the fabric for a lasting five seconds. "Where the _hell_ are my keys!?" The Uchiha snapped, ripping his hands out of his pockets. "Did you take them? I'm not amused Hidan. I'm in no mood-" He stopped, realizing he was suddenly standing alone after looking up and twisting both directions and still not seeing his company.

He whirled in a circle, now resisting a deep frown that stemmed from the irritation of trying to enjoy _anything_ with Hidan. He had already had a headache the second his strangley enthusiastic friend had spontaneously showed up at he and Kisame's house demanding they go 'do something fun' together by themselves under the pretense that Kisame and Kakuzu were 'old buzzards that don't know how to have fun'. (Itachi found that completley ridiculous, as least as far as Kisame was concerned, seeing as in their relationship the older man was usually the one to instigate silly 'fun' things. Tossing pillows or spraying him with the hose and pestering and challenging him until Itachi was ultimatley forced to remind him that he was perfectly capable of kicking his ass. But such things would just be teasing fuel for the immature zealot and so he let it go.)

_"What exactly do you have in mind?"_ Itachi had questioned suspiciously, not having opened the door all the way for fear that Hidan would barge in while he was making supper and help himself to picking at the unfinished meal like a vulture until Itachi insisted he stay and eat, as he had a habit of doing. Honestly, for all the years that had passed and how much his baby bird had come along and transformed into a functioning adult, he still refused to learn to cook his own damn meals.

_"Don't care Uchiha, your choice. I just need outta this shithole for awhile."_ Kisame had peeked around to corner to give Itachi a questioning stare at this point, and Hidan had noticed him, locking eyes onto the big man, and boldly declareing he wasn't invited and 'according to the best friend clause in sub paragraph B-12 under the subject of 'social duress', Itachi would be coming with him tonight and therefore ' _Shark-dick_ ' would have to fuck his own self.'

After slamming the door in his face and stomping to go change his clothes and soothe his frustration, half of it at Hidan for barging in and just deciding that this is the way things were going to happen despite the raven-hair already having plans and supper partially made, and half at himself for not even arguing and going along with it mostly for the fact that that little tangent had been very clever and very thoughtful and Un-Hidan-like and because Hidan San never just showed up out of the blue demanding one-on-one time because generally he didn't care who was around when he was _only_ angry.

They'd driven to the larger city half an hour over and gone to a movie, only to be asked to leave after Hidan had gotten in first an hushed arguement that gradually escalated to a fight with the couple behind them in which Hidan made a show of diving over the seat and tackling the offender, forcing the movie to be paused so the four of them could be drug out of the building.

And now he somehow manages to disappear right under his nose.

Honestly for being the kind of person he was, Hidan was rather Ninja-like when he wanted to be.

"Dammit child..." He muttered under his breath, scanning around for his friend, finally spotting him across and down the street, staring in the window of what Itachi assumed to be a bar due to all the Neon-glowing Alchohol brands blaring from the window.

He stayed in place for a moment, knowing that it was nearly 11 already and that if they went in that place they wouldn't likley make it out until daylight seeing as it was Saturday, they had passed the county line which meant any alchohol related places around here would likley be 24-7 establishments, and neither of them worked tomorrow and Hidan would surely use that to his advantage.

However if he tried to convince the man to _not_ go inside and get black-out drunk, whatever it is that's been disturbing him so deeply and causing this irritation and distraction might finally burst through the faux and unconvincing mask of normality he'd had up this entire time in a violent or self-destructive manner. Granted, he'd gotten significantly better at controlling himself in the years that had passed, the Doctor had such an amazing effect on him honestly, despite the few times Itachi had been forced to step in and straighten one or both of the men out, but to be 100% honest, Itachi himself felt like possibley he wouldn't mind partaking in a little bit of alcoholic debauchery.

Recently at ABHC there'd been an increase in the number of teenagers receiving treatment. Well, not so much an increase, there was really only one that had recently started going there, however one of his associates recently transferred to a department in a different city, which resulted in Itachi taking on a few of the patients he'd left behind. His days and mind were constantly bombarded since then with the problems these kids had; self-confidence issues, difficult family life, overly-strict or practically absent parents, social anxiety... Before this small even that was making large waves had happened, he usually had an hours time between each of his clients to wind down, do the necessary paperwork, get ideas that might be of help to the particular individual and research it and prepare it for the next visit.  
Now with back to back sessions he was restricted to doing all of this after hours at home, and all the individuals collided together with his own current issues in life and it was to the point where even his patients were starting to notice his lack of attention to each and every one of their singular cases.  
And it was starting to get him down quite a bit.

And that wonderful, understanding man of his was doing his best to help, not that he _could_ help much aside from provide a listening ear and a few back massages (which he greatly appreciated but Kisame was simply terrible at those, his hands were too big and he either used too much pressure or not enough and quite frankly it left him more frustrated than previously). And of course there was the constant advice that he needed to do something fun to relax and release the stress his lover constantly suggested and though the play-fights and cuddling and intimate times that followed was lovley, it still seemed as if the Uchiha were in need of something just beyond his frazzled mind's comprehension, which is yet another reason why he'd decided a little impulsively to humor his friend when he showed up on his doorstep.  
Kisame was a wonderful person who never really seemed to get boring or anything of that matter, but sometimes a person just needed a night out with their best friend without worrying about the possible consequences. Hidan was absolutely right, on this occasion, with what he said so often;

_Being adult sucks ass._

Considering this for a second, he took a deep breath, let it slowly out, and started toward his friend. In six months it will be three years since his baby bird had come stumbling into Itachi's lap for the second time and he still couldn't seem to get the man to just _say_ he wanted to talk when something was the matter. For how much that oaf bragged of his rugged manliness, he sure could be a wuss.

 

 

.

 

 

"And he looks at me fucking _dead serious_ and he says "This house _is_ haunted, after all.' and I just laughed and brushed him off but he doesn't look at away and I'm just sitting there like 'Yeah he's just fucking with me' and he's like 'How do you think I got it so cheap?' and just fucking casually gets up and grabs another beer and I got to thinking like 'What the fuck? What if someone did die here like that happens all the time!" Hidan paused in his storytelling to down another shot of vodka, Itachi sat silently beside him, trying not to fall off his seat.

So I followed him into the kitchen and asked him you know? Who died? And how? Cuz you know like ghosts that die violently and shit are evil fuckers but some of them don't even know they're dead. And he just turns around all slow and gives me this fucking completely blank stare, takes a sip of his beer and says ' _My ex. He was torn to pieces.'_ And fucking walks away again and god dammit Itachi I ALMOST SHIT MYSELF because like five seconds later we were just sitting there watching t.v. and he was reading and he puts the book down and he's like "How tall are you again?" and I said '5'8" _duh_. Why?' and he goes, 'Smaller coffins are cheaper.' AND JUST GETS UP AND GOES TO BED! So I'm sitting there for the rest of the fucking night waiting for him to sneak behind me and fucking jumpscare me or some shit and I didn't want to wake him up in case he _was_ sleeping so I went outside to piss and this fucking cat came running by screaming and..." He paused for a moment, staring into the distance. "Actually I think that might have been me screaming cuz cat's don't cuss..."

The refined Uchiha could no longer hold in the laughter at imagining a drunken Hidan belting out a high-pitched scream and scrambling back into the house at 3 in the morning because of a stray cat, and of course at this moment he'd been taking a drink of his daiquiri and the laughter burst through his lips and splashed the beverage all over his face, which of course immediatly had Hidan blasting out maniacal laughter and then _actually_ falling off the stool which only made Itachi nearly choke himself as his body tried to laugh/inhale with liquid still inside his mouth and nose.

He shoved his beverage away after sputtering and coughing for a good 30 seconds, one embarrassing display was usually enough for a night, time to cut himself off, as _delicious_ as the drinks were here. He made a mental note to remember this place as Hidan drug himself back up onto the stool, breathing heavily and still letting out a few breathey chuckles.

"Yeah, he's such an asshole. Fucking love him." He said casually, taking a shot and then freezing before even swallowing the liquid fire as he apparently realized what he'd said.

Itachi only smiled and raised a brow. "What was that Hida?"

Hidan swallowed loudly, slamming the small glass down and wiping his mouth.

"I believe I just heard you say out loud that you love Doctor Hoku." He said when he didn't respond, still smirking, the reached out to poke the pale man in the side. "Hidan San is in looo-oooveee." He cringed internally and then decided to just stop worring about how he was acting. There was no one in here to keep himself dignified for, just Hidan, who was probably hopeing for this kind of reaction anyway.

"If you start gushing I'm gonna slap you 'Tachi, I swear." He mumbled low, confusing this Uchiha for a moment because of sudden change of behaviour. His alcohol drowned brain took a few moments to catch up with himself, good Lord he'd become such a lightweight over the years, which was ridiculous considering how much wine he secretly had throughout the days for the last few months.

"Ooohhh Is _that_ what's been bothering you?" He slurred.

Oh damn... thank God no one was here.

"Tch. No. I've known that for a LONG fucking time."

The raven hair took on a look of betrayal. "And you never _told_ me!? Did you tell _him?!Why didn't you tell me!?_ "

"Because you'll be all gay about it like you're doing right now!"

"We're men dating men who cares if I'm gay about it!?" He said far louder than he intended to. The bartender snapped his head over and gave him a _look_ and he slapped a hand over his own mouth. Oh lovley, first kicked out of a theatre and now they'd be thrown from a bar.

To his relief Hidan followed his stare and gave the man a dark glare right back. He went back to wiping down the glass mugs, avoiding eye contact. For whatever reason this brought out a warm feeling in the slightly younger of the two.

Maybe it was the alcohol talking, but he was kind of glad he'd done this, at least at the moment. He forgot, a lot of the time, that back when they'd still been teenagers, before both their lives had taken a painful turn, Hidan had actually been the one that took care of Itachi quite often. The many nights when the Uchiha had had far too much after sneaking out of the house with a bottle of his fathers liquer that he stole, or meeting Hidan with his own piece of stolen paraphernalia and the two met at the creekbed, throwing in stones and going on angry rants about everything that pissed them off. Before Nagato and Yahiko had woven their way into the small friend circle and were there to help, the zealot practically carried him home.  
When one of the jocks from their high school got cocky and tried to show off for his girlfriend or buddies by bullying him and trying to instigate a fight at a party when Itachi was far too inebriated to properly kick his ass, Hidan always jumped in and drove them away. No one wants to fight the crazy guy, after all.

One of the reasons his initially false friendship with the man had turned into a real one, not the original reason... but every one of those events only strengthened the bond. As embarrassing as it always was to remember the things he did as a teenager. Rebellious didn't really even begin to cover it... People as loyal as Hidan didn't come around very often anymore, and if they did they were ruined by all the scum of the world. The zealot went through hell and back and yet had somehow managed to keep this trait.

"So... do you and uh... what's-his-name have any plans?" He was snapped out of his thoughts by this question, strange in itself. Hidan rarely cared about things like that, and never enough to outright ask about it.

He couldn't stop himself from saying the words until they were already partially out, and then once again had to do a mental-backup. This was supposed to be a night of relaxation and fun, not keeping himself reigned in as he'd done since... well he couldn't actually ever remember the last time he'd just stopped careing. "Actually... we have been discussing something. But it's still nothing more than that, just... discussion." After he said this his friend turned to him with such a look of fear that his heart kind of did a flipflop.

"You're not moving are you!?"

The Uchiha had to recover a bit from this question that confused him so terribley at first. Damn alcohol.

"No! No, not _that_." He said, almost laughing, though finding it very interesting that that's the first thing Hidan would think. Same-sex marriage still had yet to be legalized in this state, not that it bothered Itachi any, it was nothing more than a piece of paper, something he and Kisame both agree'd on. And also, Itachi Hoshigaki sounded _atrocious_ , not that he'd give up his last name under any standards, not as long as his father was still alive at least. Like he would give that asshole the satisfaction.

This train of thought continued for a few moments, lingering there, until it was interrupted.

"Then _what_?" Hidan asked quizzically, taking another shot. The younger tried to remember how many he'd had. Quite a lot, he probably needed cut off, how was he even stitting upright?

"Well... not really anything serious. He's actually the one who brought it up, and we had kind of just a casual hypothetical conversation about it..." He grabbed the drink he'd pushed away and sipped at it, not realizing he was doing it until he tasted the beverage and set it back down and pushed it out of arms reach, frowning at his own actions, then reaching for it again and finishing the glass off. He kicked himself for even bringing the subject up now, it was actually something that had caused a good portion of this mood he'd been unable to escape from, some gray area, like a small line he balanced on. A tightrope of emotion, occasionally able to lean to either side, one being numbness and the other being 'normal'. And though he was glad and grateful for this time and the fact that his friend had somehow seemed to sense his quiet distress, Hidan wasn't the most subtle and comforting person to speak to about such things, night of 'letting go' or not.

"'Tachi I'm going to hit you."

"Oh quit!" Itachi snapped, gently slapping him on the shoulder. "It's supposed to be a secret... is all."

"Yeah, we don't fucking keep secrets, remember?"

He shot a sideways half-glare at him. "Says the man who didn't tell me he was in _love._ "

"That's shit that doesn't need fucking saying!"

"Well I hope you at least told _him_ that."

"That's not how we are you Pansy. He'd probably hit me anyway if I said it more than once."

"OH, so you _did_ tell him."

"Yeah like fucking two years ago!" He said loudly, attracting a bit of attention and ingoreing it. "Just tell me what the fuck is wrong, we both know there's something wrong you've been all emo this whole fucking time! And you guys call _me_ dramatic, sheesh." He downed another shot at this.

"It's a sensitive subject Hida just give me a minute."

"What, are you gonna kill someone?"

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Are you gonna have a threesome?"

Itachi jerked so hard he nearly fell out of his seat. "WHAT!? NO! God Hidan _honestly!_ "

He was grinning now, "Is it me? He wants a piece of this huh? I knew it would happen eventually."

"Pffft please he thinks of you more as a troublesome nephew than anything even remotley close to that." He said incredulously, still reeling. Really Hidan? Good god...

"Well what the hell is it then!?"

"If you'd shut up for a second I would tell you!" He said, at an actual shout now, a few of the other late-night drunks turned to stare at them once again. Itachi only smiled apologetically and shrugged until they looked away. When he refocused on his friend, he still had a bit of a smirk on his face but at least he was remaining blessedly silent, though after a few seconds he raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Itachi took a deep breath. "We _were_ actually discussing you, _don't_ give me that look until you listen." He said, pointing threateningly at the grinning idiot. A threesome, of all the psychotic things... "Anyway, we were discussing you and the Doctor and somehow ended up just sort of telling each other what we knew of the both of your pasts, which ... surprisingly wasn't very much... and anyway he had this strange look on his face as if some incredibly strange thought had just popped into his head... And out of the blue asked me if I'd ever thought about adopting."

Hidan gave his confused stare, downing another shot and smacking the bar a couple time to get the tender's attention, signaling for more. "Adopting... Like a cat?"

The Uchiha could only roll his eyes. "No, Hida. Like a _child_."

Those pigmentless eyes grow so huge for a moment that the raven-hair was actually a little bit alarmed and his heart started racing as he rushed to continue.

"It's... still just in discussion mode. I immediatly said no but he was just really insistent upon knowing and we only just talked about it and we _certianly_ don't have any plans. I mean it would be hard enough for us not being heterosexual and not married, it would likley take years to even manage to be accepted as a possibility, and even more so to actually find the child and actually _adopt_ them... So honestly it's just kind of one of his ideas, I don't think he understands what he's really asking... His heart's just too big sometimes you know..."

"Adopt a kid..." Hidan mumbled to himself, stareing down at his freshly poured drink, swirling it in little circles.

"Yeah it's... just something we talked about... we agree'd to disagree..." He cleared his throat when the albino only remained in thoughtful silence. He certianly hadn't expected _this_ reaction, calm and thoughtful. Exactly how drunk _was_ Hidan anyway? And for that matter, how drunk was _he_? "What makes you so curious about us anyway? Something interesting happen between you two I should know about?"

Hidan snorted, downing the glass and swallowing hard again. "Not shit has happened."

_Oh Thank God he's distracted._ "Is this a bad thing?" He pressed on, intent to fully distract the man from the conversation before he gave any actual input on it. Perhaps he was under-exaggerating the effect such a small thing was having on him, even just talking about it out loud to Hidan was making him feel as if he couldn't get quite enough breath in his lungs.

"Considering it's been two and a half fucking years and I basically don't even fucking live in my own apartment but he still won't let me officially live with him even though I'm _always_ over there and 90 percent of my shit is over there, I don't fucking know, is it?"

"Well It sort of sounds like it's already happened if that's the case Hidan..." The bartender removed his empty daquiri glass and replaced it with a new one, giving a soft smile and moving away in response to the look of confusion Itachi offered him.

"No, because the fact is I'm still paying all this fucking shit for a place I barely ever step foot in. I fucking added it all up, utilities plus rent is 500 bucks a month, half a thousand dollars every month for a place I'm _never_ at anymore. You know how much faster I could pay off these stupid debts if I had all that extra cash? I have one finally paid off and half of another but even coming at it from a financial angle like that which usually _always_ makes him come around, he still fucking says no."

Itachi remained silent, mulling this over and running the tip of his index finger around the rim of the glass. It _was_ a bit curious... four years was quite a long time, and Hidan _was_ constantly over there when he wasn't at He and Kisame's or work. It really didn't make much sense for him to not just live there.  
He took a deep breath, feeling frustrated for a reason he didn't quite understand, which only caused more frustration. Sometimes he honestly wished the two would just get the hell over themselves and act like normal people who loved each other.  
... But then again everyone has their own way of expressing love...

 

 

_"Itachi won class president honey." Mother says, with a beaming 10 year-old below her, standing tall with his mothers hands on his shoulders. He offered the congratulatory diploma made of construction paper and a poorly printed certificate with 'Itachi Uchiha' scrawled across the top._   
_Father looks down at him, his face still hard and expressionless as always. He tips his head so slightly toward the boy that it was hard to tell he moves at all._   
_"As expected of my son." He says, and turns and walks away._

 

 

Itachi blinked, looking around as if he'd forgotten where he was, then realizing Hidan was speaking to him and centering his vision on him.

"And it's really starting to bug me because he gets really fucking pissed every time I bring it up but all I fucking want is a reason _why_ and he won't give it. Everyone knows he's mine, so he can't use that shit against me anymore, I only have two more years before I'll have my degree if everything keeps going right and then I can fix all the damage I've caused with his business so he can't fucking hang _that_ over my head. It's like the only fucking thing I can think is he just... doesn't want me there."

He went to take another shot and Itachi reached out, somehow managing even with the lines of everything blurring in the beginning stages of double-vision to swipe the small cup from pale hands and set it out of his reach. "First of all, I'm cutting you off before you start getting all emotional and unreasonable." He said as Hidan's face darkened and he opened his mouth to argue. One of them had to be able to see and walk properly, after all.

"Second, I just want to tell you how proud I am of you because I don't think I've said it in awhile. Did you say you have one of your depts paid off completley?"

"Tch, don't be all mushy 'Tachi, seriously." He grumbled back, leaning to rest one elbow on the counter.

"Alright, well, I am. But regardless, this sounds to me like you're sabotoging yourself again, to be honest."

"Yeah I figured it was something like that. So what the fuck's his problem then?"

Itachi sighed internally and adjusted himself on his seat, bringing his legs up to somehow miraculously sit cross-legged on a barstool, resting his elbows on his knees and facing the zealot. "Okay, try to pay attention because it's actually rather simple. "

Hidan rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"After being together awhile a couple usually just sort of starts to get used to the other person being there. All the new, exciting parts of learning about each other fades away and there's nothing left to offer then. I do this myself so I know you do it too so don't argue, but after all this time spending time with a certain person it becomes easy to forget that they're they're own person too. Do you understand?"

Hidan was staring intently at him as if he were speaking in a foreign language. "Uh... people get used to being around each other and take it for granted right?"

Itachi beamed. "Oh wow you _do_ understand! Wonderful. Okay, so, for example, Kisame is 16 years older than I am, he's had a lot more experience with relationships and therefore a lot more dissapointments and various aspects that he worries about. And no one ever knew it, but we went through a stage where he was so convinced our relationship was going to fail that he actually sort of started sabotoging it himself."

A silver brow raised. "Shark-dick tried to leave you?"

"No, not at all, but he would constantly call me when I wasn't at work or home and ask where I was and what I was doing and if I ever said I was going somewhere I was practically interrogated about it. I think this was about a year ago so don't go getting all worked up over it."

Hidan clicked his toungue. "See? Secrets, always with the secrets."

Itachi rolled his eyes... again. "Hidan if I had told you what was going on then you would have barged in and attacked him and made everything worse. Anyway do you see where I'm going with this?"

Hidan glared at the accusation but released it quickly after in favor of chewing his lip in thought for a few moments and then slowly shook his head.

Okay... The man was far beyond drunk, he needed to simplify it. "Basically, Hidan, Doctor Hoku is afraid of something. And from what you're telling me and what I know of him, I think it's actually very simple." He stopped and waited for his friend to put the pieces together, scanning his blurred face and squinting.

After a few moments the zealots face twisted in frustration. "Well can you just fucking tell me already? I don't fucking know what the hell you talking about. Kuzu isn't afraid of anything."

"Ah! See that's the problem right there, Hidan. He's human too, he gets scared, that's exactly why he gets so angry about it when you ask him."

"Itachi I swear I'm going to fucking punch you-"

"Oh please Hidan we both know I could kick your ass. Calm down."

"Tch."

"Don't scoff at me I'm trying to help you understand instead of just giving you the answer. That's how you fix problems you know, by understanding the cause and changing your behavior to bring about the desired effect!"

"I just wanna fucking know why he doesn't want me living there I don't need to fucking braid his hair and let him cry on me!"

" _FINE!_ You child!" He snapped, sighing afterwards and resisting the nausea that was slowly creeping through his stomach. "He is afraid of Change. Think about it Hidan, the man is over twenty years older than you, Kisame has stated probably a hundred times now that the man has _never_ had a real relationship like what you two have. Perhaps he's worried maybe about exactly what I was saying, that the initial attraction will fade away if you're together constantly and you'll discover that there's really nothing more to find out?"

Hidan stared at him for awhile as if thinking it over but still extremley confused about it. He leaned back against the counter, stared at the ceiling for a while, 'hmmmm'd' very loudly, and chewed the inside of his lip. Itachi waited patiently, or tried, eventually sneaking another drink of his already nearly finished daiquiri while the albino was lost in thought and realizing he was beginning to get a heavy pressure in his head.

Oh wonderful, an alcohol induced migraine, this was going to be fun to deal with.

"That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard you say, 'Tachi. Seriously."

He blinked at his, trying to recall what exactly was happening right now. "Excuse me?"

"I'll give it to you that you can fucking psycho-babble the shit out of everyone else. But give me credit here too, I know Kuzu better than you. And he's not fucking _scared that I won't love him._ "

_Oh, yeah... right. Wait what?_

Itachi ground his teeth, why the hell would he ask if he already knew the damn answer?! _Dammit Hidan..._ "Oh? Well what exactly do _you_ think then?"

"I think it's way less complicated. Kakuzu ain't someone to worry about stupid shit like that." Hidan said, reaching a fist up to bump his chest a couple times and burp loudly, eliciting an eye-roll and grimace from Itachi before he continued.

"I think he's just being a dick." He said, shrugging casually and spinning his seat back around to face the bar again. "I think he just doesn't wanna fucking share."

Itachi had to think through this for a few moments, not noticing when Hidan gave the tender another signal to refill his mug until after the deed was done and he came back to reality to find the pale man chugging it down.

That... that actually made sense. And he had to breathe deeply for a minute at the unreasonable irritation it caused him that he might be wrong about his diagnosis. This was becoming unacceptable, the way this damn mood was affecting him.

If Hidan officially lived there with the Doctor, Then the poor man would have absolutely no time to himself, he wouldn't be able to kick Hidan out and send him home to have some peace and quiet, and it weren't as if Kakuzu Hoku had anywhere _he_ could retreat to to escape his loud obnoxious lover. And he would continuously have to worry about Hidan mistreating his belongings. Even Kisame had said how funny it was that the Doctor had sort of a bit of obsessive compulsion for things to be kept neat and organized. Having Hidan there all the time likely made that hard enough to accomplish, having him live there would practically be a death sentence to order. That certainly made much more sense in regards to the Doctor's personality.

His cheeks burned slightly. He was losing his touch.

_"Anything less than your best is unacceptable. Laziness will not be tolerated. You might as well shun everything that 'Uchiha' stands for."_   
_"Honey, it's only second place..."_   
_"He intentionally let that boy gain on him. You shame us. Go, I expect an explanation and an apology when I come to you."_

"Well you might still ask him about what I said, you never know." He mumbled, to which Hidan laughed.

"Oh yeah I'll make a fucking evening of it. Some rose petals and wine and a hot bubble bath. And we'll sit down to a romantic movie and I'll say 'Kuzu? Are you afraid I'll think you're boring?' and he'll just just look at me and burst into tears and we'll cry together and hold each other and I'll say 'I'LL ALWAYS LOVE YOU KUZU!'" The man-child actually made a rather impressive display as he acted it all out, Itachi promptly punched him on the shoulder hard enough to make him nearly fall to the floor again.

"Well forgive me for forgetting how you two are just _overflowing_ with testosterone!" He half-yelled as Hidan laughed in his usual obnoxious fashion. "I suppose the best way to go about it would be to come in the house with a cigar in your teeth and a machine gun hanging off your side and just start firing with reckless abandon and drink 82 beers, rip off your shirts and _flex_ at each other!"

He barely even finished the sentence before the image hit him and a chuckle forced its way out, quickly reaching hysterical laughter along with Hidan who was bent over and smacking his hand on the counter repeatedly. Mostly for the fact that the picture seemed so possible.

"Sounds like a shitload of fun!" Hidan chuckled, finally gaining control of himself. A couple other bar patrons that had been eyeing them got up and left, not as if either of the men cared much.

" _Fun,_ yes. He'd rip you to peices."

Hidan picked up his mug, tipping it toward his friend and winking. "Good thing I like it rough eh?"

"That was something I could have lived much happier without hearing."

"You know _you_ were the fucker who tackled me a few years ago and forced me to tell you about our first time, in case you don't remember."

Again his cheeks burned, and he fiddled with his empty glass, keeping your hands busy sometimes helps the thought process. "Well, we've both matured since then... haven't we?"

He didn't notice the awkward silence until suddenly a pale palm was waved in front of his face and a whistle brought him back to attention.

"Oi, 'Tachi."

The solemn tone is was said in drew his dangerously blurring vision again to his friend, who was regarding him sternly. "Yes?"

A stareing contest went on for a few beats, Hidan holding that same expression and Itachi unsure of exactly what face he was making, but doing his best to be blank and neutral.

"The fuck is wrong with you?" The albino finally asked, not breaking eye contact.

He couldn't stop the involuntary crease of his brows. "I... don't really know. I've been trying to figure it out."

"Then what are you thinking every time you keep stareing off into fucking space?" Still, he didn't look away.

Itachi did at this point, however. Thoughts were racing far too quickly for him to make any sense of him, the damn alcohol had his feeling as if all of this were surreal, and for some strange reason he felt like his face might explode in waterworks.

 

_"Straighten up. Men don't cry. You shame yourself."_   
_"Fugaku, the boy's pet just died, you can't be so hard-"_   
_"Life will not be kind to him simply because I am. He needs to learn not to break at every little thing."_

 

 

"My father..." He said distantly, Hidan clicked his tongue and leaned back in his seat.

"What _about_ that asshole?" He said, following it with another swig from his mug.

"I... don't really know. He just keeps popping into my head."

"Well duh, of course he does."

He snapped his head over to him, frustration and confusion rising. "What do you mean ' _Of course he does_?'"

Hidan gave him a skeptical look. "Are you that wasted? What did you just tell me you and Shark-dick were talking about?"

"Adopting." He said automatically, eyes widening a few seconds afterward as it clicked in place. "...Oh..."

"Mm-hmm." His friend replied, finishing off the mug, stareing for a few minutes and then smiling. "Hasn't happened in a while when _I'm_ the one that gets to tell you _you're_ being dumb."

Itachi opened his mouth to argue only for someone to tap on a microphone, snapping the two's attention to the north wall of the room. Previously there had been nothing but a deep blue curtian there, but it was now pulled back to reveal a small platform stage with something resting on it that made a huge smile rip across Hidan's face.

"Alriight It's midnight on Saturday which means it's time for the Red Moon's usual Karaoke night." Stated a very bored looking man in a very monotone voice. He took a second to look around the room, hands in his pockets. "So... have fun." He added, in a way that insinuated he didn't mean it at all, and with that he turned and walked off the small platform and disappeared into a back room.

Itachi of course turned to his friend, both happy for the distraction and slightly irritated at it, seeing as it _was_ indeed one of those times when Hidan seemed to have the answers he needed. Expecting him to be exitedly eyeing the stage what with his love of attention and immediatly jump up to go attend to the lone device sitting there with spotlights on it, he forced a smile anyway only to instead finding Hidan giving him a mischevious grin.

They only stared back and forth for a few seconds before it finally clicked in place with the Uchiha and his stomache suddenly did a flip-flop.

"No Hida. No."

"Yes 'Tachi!" The albino slid off the stool, his grin turning malicious.

"NO! " The drunken Uchiha whirled his stool around and grabbed firmly onto the bar. Pale fingers latched onto one elbow and yanked. This was definantly not what he needed right now. _Damn you Hidan..._

"'Itachi don't fight me, I'm more sober than you!" He half-yelled, pulling again after the first one was unsuccessful from removing the younger from his spot.

"I find that hard to believe." He pulled himself back, locking his thighs around the circular seat.

"Just trust me on this, it's fun. You need some fucking fun!" More pulling.

"I'll still kick your ass Hida! Let go!"

" _You_ let go!" Another tug.

"Noooo I don't want to!"

"There's like three fucking people here just fucking quit being a bitch!"

"Go do it by yourself you damn showoff!" Itachi's eyes went wide as Hidan gave a particularly hard heave and his latch on the counter slipped. With a high-pitched squeal that may or may not have left Itachi's own mouth he fell backward off the stool, surprisingly not crashing into Hidan and falling to the floor.

No, that damn moron caught him, wrapped _one damn arm_ around his middle and continued hauling him up toward the stage as if he were a child throwing a fit that needed removed immediately from the room. The three other people still left (Surprisingly Hidan had actually been correct and it wasn't just one of his exaggerations) quickly removed themselves from their seats as well, leaving the place completely empty as an albino man drug a kicking and flailing Uchiha up to the machine, reacting in character with the simile.

No really, _thank God_ no one was here.

He finally gave up the fight, realizing he probably _was_ too inebriated to win this squabble and grinding his teeth while he was carried up and finally released next to the accursed machine, almost falling over when the hands keeping him sturdy left when Hidan turned to punch something in.

Irritating grin met scowl as he whirled around, waiting for the music to start.

"I'm going to kill you Hidan San." Itachi growled, the comment was only waved away as grunge-style guitar riffs started playing.

"Trust me a little, hm?" Hidan said low, and the Uchiha's eyes went wide as even his drunken mind recognized the song.

Charcoal met lavender, silver brows raised, and he snatched the microphone from its hoster on the side of the machine and raised it to still sneering lips.

_"Some like beautiful, perfect and pretty..."_ He sang, sounding just the perfect amount of professional and amateur as he always did and gesturing to Itachi at the words.

Itachi only shook his head, still trying to convey that he absoloutly was not going to sing, damn whatever message it was his obnoxious, pushy best friend was trying to send. Of course he couldn't just go without making some ridiculous grand gesture and just _tell him._

He did not sing. Itachi Uchiha had many, many talents, he would admit, but singing was not one of them, and mostly certianly not a song like this one.

Hidan's grin widened and he nodded his to the beat in response, stepping back to put a hand on his chest, acting out the lyrics like the showboater he is.

 

_"I see the good in the bad and the uuglyyy._   
_I need a volume one louder than ten!_   
_Put the pedal to the metal,_   
_needle into the red!"_

 

He glared at the man, arms crossed, doing his best to resist the memories the song brought back, to not think of one of most significant nights in the beginning of their high school friendship. He could recall it so easily though, despite not having thought about it in several years. _Damn._ Why did he let himself give in and drink?

_._

_"...Do I really have to leave?"_

_Itachi ground his teeth, glareing hellfire out the windsheild. "You heard him as well as I did." He said, low and monotone._

_"No I mean like... leave you alone."_

_Itachi stared resloloutly at the road zooming beneath him, not really paying attention to where he was going."We'll just make it a point to stay outside of a thousand foot radius from my house."_

_"This is fucking stupid."_

_"I have no right to argue." He replied firmly._

_" You do when he just lays into you like that without even letting you fucking talk! Who gives a shit what he says anyway, sounds like a typical fucking know-it-all_ parent. _" The pale teenager leaned back in the seat, turning his head to stare out the window at the gray world outside, caught in the midst of twilight._

_"I do Hidan. He's my father." Itachi said, trying to end the conversation and make it clear that he was about to drive this stupid expensive car his father bought him (because as an Uchiha he couldn't be seen driving anything less than the best despite the fact that the teen hated how flashy and superior it was) off a bridge if his friend wouldn't shut up and let him calm down._

_"Tch._ Shitty _father."_

_"... You don't know anything about it."_

_Hidan jerked back around. "What 'Cuz I don't have one!? Doesn't take a fucking genius to see that asshole doesn't give a shit about_ you _!"_

_"That's not what I mean! Don't jump to conclusions!"_

_"I'm not jumping to fucking conclusions, I've had enough '_ fathers _' to know a piece of shit when I meet one."_

_"Then enlighten me as to what a_ good _father is, by all means!" He snapped back._

_"Well it's sure as shit not someone who acts like that over fucking NOTHING! The only thing he_ didn't _do was fucking smack you around!"_

_"You don't know anything about my family Hidan, shut up."_

_"I know you're apparently not allowed to bring friends over!"_

_"That isn't what it was about."_

_"Oh yeah I_ know _what it was about I'm not fucking stupid!"_

_"You sure don't give any backing to that statement."_

_"Fuck you!"_

_"Stop interfering in things you know nothing about!"_

_"Then stop fucking pretending it doesn't piss you off!"_

_"OF COURSE IT PISSES ME OFF!" Itachi shouted back, making lavender eyes go wide as he hit the brakes and jerked the car to the side of the street and angrily parked it. Itachi sat in place, glaring at the steering wheel and breathing hard. Surely he wouldn't start crying, he didn't care normally but with Hidan here he would probably never want to be around him again and just call off the whole friendship if he saw Itachi cry. Not that that would make too much difference, as they only really ever 'hung out' during their tutoring and when Itachi forced Hidan to let him drive him home on bad weather days so he didn't have to walk the entire way across town. That would probably please his father anyway, Uchiha's have no need for 'friends', after all. A real man stands strong on his own._

_"It's not about being angry." He forced through his teeth, ignoring the crack in his voice. "Anyone can be pissed off. It doesn't take anything to be mad and take things personally. Getting angry and rash and impulsive is mindless and easy. Handling it with maturity and_ intelligence _, is the way to solve a problem. And this isn't a problem, it's a part of life. He's my father and I respect him and I'm not going to defy him in the home he supports us all in!"_

_Hidan made a gagging sound, making the Uchiha's dark eyes lock onto him. Or maybe it would be better if this ignorant idiot_ weren't _his friend anymore, if he couldn't understand something so simple as being mature and not going on an angry rampage just because someone said something that offended him._

_"Sounds like fucking brainwashing to me. You can't even_ think _without him."_

_"Oh so you think yelling and screaming and fighting him will help!? You saw how much good that did! "_

_"I was_ defending _you, you fucking dumbass!"_

_"YOU were half the problem you idiot!" He snapped back at him, wanting desperately to reach out and grab a hunk of that silver hair and smash that stupid perpetually scowling face three or four times into the dash. "Speaking to him like that in his own house, you have NO shame! You just made everything worse! You wouldn't possibly understand!"_

_"How the fuck can you_ respect _someone that treats you like you're some fucking trophy instead of his son, instead of his fucking_ family _!? It's such BULLSHIT! We only walked in the door and HE'S the one who started fucking ranting!"_

_"You just don't understand Hidan, our family has a reputation to uphold-"_

_"Yeah, yeah, and you can't be seen hanging out with some fucking degenerate like me right? I understand fuckin'_ perfect _Uchiha. You're the one who doesn't get it."_

_"Would you let me finish! Shut up for once in your life! It doesn't have anything to do with_ you _it's about-"_

_"I don't fucking care." Hidan interrupted suddenly, so low and dark that Itachi was speechless for a second, and only sat stareing in the dim lighting at the pale teen, almost glowing in the reflection of the halogen streetlights._

_"I don't give a shit, Itachi. If you want to save your skin, I don't care. Don't hang out with me anymore.I don't need you anyway." He opened the door and slipped out quicker than the raven-hair could even process what was said. Hidan was already a few feet in front of the car, walking slouched with his hands in his pockets in the wrong direction of the house he lived in._

_Almost frantically Itachi twisted and jerked the handle, shoved open the car door and leapt out. "Hidan WAIT!" He no more than took three steps when Hidan whirled around._

_"Leave me alone!" He barked, his usual scowl in place before his face softened. "I'll just make everything worse anyway. I don't care, just leave me alone."_

_With that he turned and continued on his way, leaving Itachi standing there stareing after him wide-eyed, unable to think of what to do or say._

_And entire five heartbeats went by before he was able to run after him. He made it to only a step behind, and forced his voice to come out friendly when he finally was able to speak. "I can at least take you home, you're going the wrong w-" But was cut off by a fist slamming into his cheek and a small burst of stars exploding in front of him._

_When he opened his eyes he was on the ground, Hidan was standing over him, glareing down, fists still clenched. He could only stare up in disbelief, holding his assaulted cheek._

_"I said leave me alone. I don't have the fucking time or patience to deal with your stupid family drama. I don't want to be a part of it, go away."_

 

 

"If the windows ain't shaking,  
making my heart race,  
If I can't feel it in my bones  
I'm in the wrong damn place."

 

 

_Anger exploded in him so suddenly that he couldn't control it, mostly for the fact that he'd never lost control of himself with_ that _emotion or so suddenly. The precarious rope he'd been balancing on snapped and all he could do was grab the end and hold on._  
 _The next thing he knew they had temporarily traded places, Hidan wiping a trickle of blood across his forearm that continued leaking out his nose and Itachi standing over him, jaw locked. He opened his mouth to try and explain when he was tackled to the ground, his breath left him in a whoosh and something collided hard with the side of his ribcage. Then he was behind Hidan, holding a pale wrist tight around the albino's own throat to restrain him until that silver mop jerked forward and then back and once again his vision flashed black and white specks and the teen was on top of him again, growling like an animal while he drew his fist back. Itachi growled himself and pulled his legs under him, pushing the assaulter off and jumping to his feet to follow right behind._

_The Uchiha still couldn't remember how exactly it had happened, so consumed was he in the unbridled fury this idiot had caused, attacking him out of nowhere like that, but it turned out to be a good thing, as after the brief period of swinging limbs and fists colliding with body parts, lots of swearing and angry shouts, after both of them were thoroughly covered in miscellaneous debree from the street and yards on either side on it he somehow managed to pin Hidan down on the ground, both arms secured and his knee pressing hard into the smaller mans back._

_There was no white flag waved, no calling of 'uncle' or truce or anything of the sort. No, Hidan just sort of stopped fighting, and slumped down onto the asphalt road, panting._

_Itachi was breathing hard as well, and after a few seconds of making sure it was really over, released his grip and stepped back, putting a bit of distance between them just in case it was some surprise attack._

_Slowly, the pale teen brought his arms to his sides and pushed himself up to his feet with what looked like great effort. Itachi only stared him down, expressionless, waiting for all the adrenaline to leave so he could think rationally, or for Hidan to say something to explain his actions, whichever came first._

_Neither happened first though. Instead the albino started chuckling. Holding his back with one hand and the other arm wrapped around his ribcage, it escalated into full-on laughter, and the Uchiha was so absoloutly bewildered that he could only stare incredulously, his mouth even dropping slightly open._

_Everyone in the school knew this kid wasn't quite sane, it was half the reason he'd been avoided as if he had some horribley contagious disease for the longest time. It never made much sense to Itachi, but he'd been far too preoccupied with his own business to pay any mind to the strange new kid with silver hair, pigment-less eyes and a foul mouth. At least until he'd started being tutored by Mr. Hatake and Itachi, strictly to get the elder man's attention, had offered to take over the tutoring._

_Honestly he had really felt bad for Hidan in the first few weeks, but hadn't gone out of his way to associate with him outside their one hour sessions during study hall. He had no intention of actually befriending Hidan, he just wanted the attractive teacher to notice him, not as Itachi Uchiha the student with perfect grades and attendance and whatever else, but as Itachi Uchiha the human, who cared about other people and was a good and interesting person. Not that he_ really _cared about other students, they were just... people, pawns or rivals. As was Hidan, just someone to outdo as his father had taught him. The new kid had something he wanted, and he intended to get it and move on, at least until nearly a week later when the albino showed up limping rather noticeably. He waved it off as no big deal, and as hard as he could Itachi tried to ignore it as well. But when he showed up the_ very next day _with a black eye as well the Uchiha couldn't help pushing aside the tutoring for the entire hour in favor of interrogating him until he finally told the raven-hair who had caused it, and found that the limping was from being pushed down the stairs by his foster mother's boyfriend, and the black eye came from a group of seniors that ganged up on him and tried to force him to wear a bag over his head for the rest of the school year so they wouldn't have to 'be freaked out every time he showed up'. And with this information looming heavily over his head every time they caught eyes in the hall and looked away quickly, pretending not to know each other, Itachi simply couldn't ignore him any longer._

_That was two months ago that all that had happened, and now, after that ridiculous act, as he stared at the laughing, insane kid, he wondered if maybe Hidan hadn't been the one to instigate all the events that left him so battered that day. He wondered if maybe it hadn't all be a ploy, just like everyone else who tried to befriend him then after realizing he wasn't going to give them whatever it was they desired from the rich, 'popular' Uchiha and his family, left him standing in the dust._

"I don't have the fucking time or patience to deal with your stupid family drama. I don't want to be a part of it, go away."  
 _That would make sense wouldn't it? He realized how hard it would be for an outsider to be considered family when_ actual family _themselv_ es _had to earn their place._

_He forced himself not to say anything and keep eye contact with him until he finally gained control of himself. He continued holding in any words when Hidan only studied him, if he thought he could get away with it he would be learning a hard lesson. His stern expression shifted slightly as the anger rose again, and then Hidan gave him that crooked grin._

 

_"So you're not a complete pussy then." He finally wheezed, wincing and clutching tighter to his sides._

_Itachi still managed to resist letting the confusion show, despite feeling as if his head were a baseball just knocked across the park in a home-run, holding the stare as Hidan struggled to stand upright, groaning as he slowly straightened his spine._

_"Ow fuck... Damn you hit way harder than I expected..." He mumbled, removing the hand from his back to massage his jaw for a moment and then check to see if his nose was still bleeding or not._

_"So do you." Itachi replied blankly, still not moving and repeating to himself that his cheek would not stop hurting just because he clutched at it and as long as his eyes didn't start to water from the pain he was fine. The anger was quickly receding to make room for the confusion, and it sucked away the shock that kept his abused body from radiating pain. Hidan was built a bit stockier than Itachi, and he obviously had no idea how to fight properly and effectively, under normal circumstances all the martial arts lessons should have kicked in and this idiot would have been utterly destroyed but... for whatever reason there were at_ this _outcome. Both of them exhausted and hurting, though the Uchiha refused to let it show._

_"What the hell was that about?" He finally asked, nearly losing it again when he only got a shrug in return. At least until the zealot continued._

_"Just pissed me off the way you 'respect' someone who treats you like shit but act like_ I"m _the asshole when I'm trying to fucking help you."_

_"You weren't doing anything_ close _to helping!" Itachi said, finally relaxing as the irritation washed away at the sight of the temporarily slightly shorter teen trying to limp to the curb to sit down, guilt sweeping through him as the image of Hidan limping to school with a black eye played over in his head, the anger it had stirred in him to hear of the abuse the teen had been dealing with silently all this time, continueing to brush it off while Itachi seethed there in the seat across from him as if it were no big deal. '_ Animals' _He'd thought to himself, as if they were below him. How could they act such a way?_

  
_He was no better than them..._

 

_He rushed over and helped him to sit down, then sat down next to him, at a loss for words._

_"I was, believe me." Hidan finally muttered back, putting his head in his hands._

_"No, you got offended without trying to understand the situation and opted to instigating instead of just respecting me and the way my family works." He said back evenly, finally reaching up now to hold his face, already beginning to swell. "Just because we're different doesn't mean it's bad. It's just how it is, it's how it's always been."_

_Hidan's head snapped up to glare at him. "I know that." He said low. "I'm not stupid. You think I don't get that all families are different? You know how many fucking 'families' I've had? And trust me my 'fathers' have been waaay worse than yours is. I was giving him_ credit _when I said the only thing he didn't do was hit you... kind of..."_

_"...I never intentionally meant to imply anything like that Hidan..." Was all he could force out._

_"Yeah, I know. Again, I'm not fucking stupid..." The pale teens voice dropped a vew decibels at this, and his attention returned to the bit of asphalt between his feet._

_"It just... I'm not good at talking like you. Or... thinking clearly... I guess." Itachi had to resist a laugh at this, which made him internally kick himself that he'd even have the urge at this point. Hidan remained silent for awhile, and the Uchiha shifted in his seat, crossing his legs over each other and letting his arms fall limply into his lap. They sat in silence for a few moments until Hidan took in a slow breath and reached down to pick up the chunk of loose road, rolling it around in his fingers as he spoke._

_"I met a kid like you once at the funny farm they sent me too a couple years ago. His parents treated him like... like he had to_ earn _his place in their family. Just like your dad does... They expected him to be fucking perfect, do everything right, make no mistakes. And he fucking tried,_ really hard, _cuz he wanted to make mommy and daddy proud, which any kid wants, I know, I get it._  
 _But guess what? The harder he tried, the more he did what they wanted, the more pressure they put on him, the more they expected out of him... I was fourteen, he was 17, almost 18. I got to be kinda friends with him, cuz we were a lot the same, but still a lot different." He took a moment to chuck the rock to the other side of the street, stareing at it for a few moments before continueing._

_"He tried to fucking kill himself, which is why he was there, it's pretty much why all of us were there... And you know how long he'd been there before I came along?_  
 _Two months._  
 _You know why?_  
 _Because Mommy and daddy dearest didn't want him to come out until he was 'fixed', until he didn't have those 'urges', they called them, anymore. So they wouldn't have to deal with it, so they wouldn't have to be embarrassed as parents to have a kid that wanted to die, so they didn't have to feel ashamed. So they could just pretend everything was just fucking fine and he would be all better and they could continue on like always and not have to acknowledge the fucking role they played in it and admit that they were wrong and_ do something about it _."_

 

 

"Got a demon in my soul,  
And a voice in my head.  
Saying go, go, go,  
I can sleep when I'm dead."

 

 

_Itachi couldn't even respond at this point, mostly for the fact that he sort of understood, and was also more confused. He got what Hidan was trying to imply, sort of. But not why he'd acted the way he did. How was shouting and fighting his father like that going to do anything?_

_Hidan sighed, running both hands through his hair. "Your dad ain't ever gonna be 'proud' Itachi, not if he's not already. And that's what pisses me off the most. I'm...so fucking jealous of you, and I fucking_ hate _you at the same time."_

_"Wh...why?" Was all he could force out, thoughts flying far too fast to be anything more than a blur._

_Hidan snapped his head up and twisted his body, glaring at him. "Because you ARE fucking perfect! Your family is rich, you have all this influence and reputation, guys are jealous of you and girls fucking drool over you. You've got parents and a family and a little brother who I haven't met yet but I can already tell thinks you're the coolest fucking thing in the world, and despite having all this you don't let it go to your head and act like an entitled asshole and treat people like shit, you just keep to yourself and mind your own business. But somehow, you still have no friends, you're fucking lonely-" Itachi's opened his mouth to argue at this but Hidan just slapped a hand over it._

_"No, don't fucking tell me you're not. Seriously, I know what lonely is, don't even fucking argue with me about it. If you weren't, why in the_ fuck _would you hang out with someone like me? What the fuck does_ my _friendship have to offer you? I don't fucking_ have _anything.I'm not even_ nice _for fucks sake!" He didn't release his hard stare, but did slowly move his hand off the slightly younger's mouth. Itachi was trying to process it, not liking the sensation in his chest as if someone had dropped a bath bomb in his heart and now the chemical reaction was about to make it explode._

_"I'm not pissed because your dad treats you like shit, I'm not fucking mad because he thinks I'm not worthy of being your friend.I'm so used to both those things that, seriously, I usually don't even fucking notice anymore._   
_I'm pissed because you let him tell you you're nothing. I'm pissed because you think he somehow has the right, just because he's your dad. I'm pissed that he... that you... Fucking BOTH of you! Why would you do that? Why would he?" He threw his hands up, standing up suddenly and wincing but continueing to pace._

_"I don't have that, all I get are strangers that I have to_ call _family until I move on to the next one. Whatever, I like it that way. I don't get to care. I literally cannot. But it just makes me really feel like I AM crazy when people who can, won't fucking do it because it's just so fucking_ hard _to make a human and_ not _have them become a person instead of a clone or a robot."_

_He plopped back down to the curb, letting out a small grunt of pain as he landed and then hunched over, crossing his arms over his knees and propping his chin on them, stareing into the distance in thought. Itachi welcomed it, actually, as he was still reeling, and damn it all if his frustration wasn't beginning to bubble over. The lower part of his vision kept going a bit blurry until he blinked it away._   
_"Bad shit happens... " His muttered softly, "When I start caring about people. When I get attached, everyone always leaves in one way or another. I got to be kinda friends with you now, cuz we were a lot the same, but still a lot different..."_

_He paused, staring out at the street again. Both boys sat in silence in the darkness that had fallen fully now. A few moths circled around the streetlight on the other side of the road, making shadows flit for a second across the pair._

_Hidan lifted his head slightly to look at him, and Itachi was unable to keep from meeting his eyes. "I want to help, but I can't. Because if I care enough to try, you'll leave."_

_"I... I won't leave." He said, just barely above a whisper._

_"Everyone leaves. Always."_

_Itachi swallowed the lump in his throat, Hidans eyes flicked back down to the ground, and he mimicked the action._

_"That kid, the one like you and me. He walked out of that place with his parents and ran out into the street and jumped in front of a truck, and my stupid ass watched it, and kept watching._   
_And His parents screamed, and cried... and screamed... and cried._   
_And all I could think was that I was the one who told him in group that.. he had to do something about it, or it was never going to end. He... took it the wrong way."_

_Itachi's breath caught in his throat._

_"Everyone leaves. As soon as I give a shit, they leave. You're my first friend that actually_ chose _to be my friend, the best thing I can do, to repay you for that... is leave first, before I fuck up your life more than I already just did."_

 

 

"There's a sonic revelation  
bringing me to my knee's!  
And a man down below who needs my,  
Sympathyyy!"

 

 

_He hugged Hidan, before he knew what was happening. They didn't say anything, Hidan didn't even actually move, Itachi only reached over and grabbed him by his neck and squeezed. He managed to hold back any tears, though he honestly felt like he could cry, for hours and hours and kick and scream and vent all this terrible weight and guilt from his insides, and also maybe let Hidan hit him a few more times, because he deserved it._

_Hidan... was right. If anyone else ever hurt him, he struck back, whether he was literally fighting or not. If he wanted something, he went after it, just as he had with the Mr. Hatake and Hidan situation. He'd gotten those seniors cars impounded and their licenses suspended two days after he'd found out what they did to Hidan and the boyfriend of Hidan's current foster mother mysteriously decided to leave town after Itachi had asked a couple of small favors from his Uncle Madara, who had even more connections than his father despite living in the next state. He was rarely one to be spiteful to such extremes but, well their actions were unacceptable._

'And so is my father's...' _He thought to himself, treating him and Hidan that way when he'd only invited him inside to have a soda and help him with his homework, seeing as he couldn't concentrate at his own house now that his foster mom blamed him for her boyfriend leaving and was constantly shouting and insulting and fighting with him._

_He was only trying to help someone and be a good person and Fugaku had acted as if he were spitting in his face, instigating and provoking him for no reason. He could understand his father being against his sexual orientation That's what the whole thing had been about, whether Hidan actually_ did _understand that or not. He could understand him hating how Itachi was so open about it what with their... completley stupid excuse as having a 'reputation' to uphold, despite the fact that he'd never actually told a single soul aside from his parents even though, admittedly, it wasn't that hard to guess._  
 _But acting as if everyone that walked in that door with his son were there for_ that _intention, that was_ not _understandable. Teenagers or not, preferences aside, he might as well be calling his son a whore, and to go so far as to drag his one and only friend, who'd only ever acted like a friend and not someone who wanted to use him for personal gain, to drag Hidan through the mud for something he had no involvement in, how could that man stand there and claim_ he _was the one disrespected, that their family was shamed, that_ Itachi _was the one to cause all the problems?_

_"Hey... Hidan?" He said, smirking after he finally released the awkward embraced and the pale man rubbed at his neck, wincing. "Weren't you bragging earlier about how you swiped some of Mrs. Tanaka's whiskey?"_

_Hidan eyed him sideways for a moment, as if wary that his friend might be pulling some trick, half-grimacing and probably resisting the urge to insult the Uchiha for hugging him._   
_"Yeah... what of it?"_

_"Do you have it with you?" He didn't try to hide his own mischevious smile as pale pink eyes met his, shifting in understanding and widening, a mirroring grin of its own peeling across his face._

_He nodded. "It's in my fucking backpack."_

_Instead of his initial urge to chastise Hidan for doing something so absolutely stupid as bringing alcohol with him to school, since in all honesty he had known the answer to that question before even answering it seeing as the thing had been clinking and swishing the whole school day. Instead of that he only reached out, shoving the now grinning oaf by the shoulder and using it to push himself to his feet, making his way back toward the car as he did so and ignoring the shouts and threats flung at him. He seated himself casually in the driver's seat, waiting as a still grumbling Hidan reluctantly got in after they exchanged glances, Itachi's expecting and Hidan's cautious and questioning, and seated himself beside him._

_"It's a good thing I came after you or you would have left everything here." He said, twisting to reach behind him to grab the worn bag and hand it to the albino._

_"Tch. I could just take some more, I know where she keeps the keys."_

_"I was referring to your schoolbooks, actually."_

_"Naahhh You'd have just brought them to school and given them to me like the doting fucking mommy you are."_

_"Hn. I'm going to ignore that seeing as I've already kicked your ass."_

_"Tch, I've got too high a pain tolerance for your dainty little slaps to hurt."_

_"That's not what you said earlier."_

_"Yeah well I lied."_

_"...You're ridiculous."_

_"I'm a ridiculous guy."_

_Itachi breathed out a laugh, stareing out the windsheild for a moment before starting the car, ignoring Hidan eyeing him suspiciously._

_"...So... are you taking me back?"_

_"No, we're going to the creek."_

_"The_ creek _? Why?"_

_"To throw stones, get drunk, rant about how stupid adults are, and just be the rebellious 16 year-olds that we are."_

_White canines showed themselves as Hidan's smile stretched wide._

_"What about your dad?"_

_Itachi smiled back. "As you so confusingly stated, I need to do something about it, or it won't ever end." He put the car in drive and hit the gas._   
_Hidan's grin grew further, and he laughed, punching the radio button, and nearly flailing in his seat when he heard the song that came on and promptly twisted the volume knob as far up as it would go. The two had only recently discovered their similar taste in music, this band being one of the ones they'd gushed about._

 

 

_._

 

 

"I got a ringing in my ears,  
Getting ready to buuurst."

Hidan sang now, raising his eyebrows expectantly, stepping closer to Itachi, who sighed, smiled, and leaned forward to share the mic, sucking in a deep breath as they both sing-yelled together.

"Screaming  
HALLELUJAH MOTHERFUCKER!  
TAKE ME TO CHURCH!"

 

_Both boys screamed the lyrics along in unison with each other, speeding down the dirt road that lead out of town to the small riverbed hidden in the sparse bit of woods a few miles out of town._

 

_"I LIKE IT LOUDER THAN THE BOOM OF A BIG BASS DRUM!" Itachi shouted in time._   
_"I NEED IT HARDER THAN THE SOUND OF GUITAR GRUNGE!" Hidan screamed back._

 

Hidan threw his head, rocking it to the rhythm and slamming his foot on the floor with the beat as they sang full volume. Itachi grabbed the mic, both of them holding it as they belted out.

"I LOVE TO CRANK IT UP!"

 

"MAKE IT THUMP!"

 

"AND EVIL TO THE CORE!"

 

"HEAD BANGING IN THE PIT AND THROWING MY HORNS!"

 

_Hidan handed to bottle to Itachi who took it, pushing back the alarm bells in his head screaming that this was a horrible idea and he was being irresponsible and his father was going to KILL him when he found out he did this if they even survived and taking a large gulp, hissing in a breath after he did so at the sting and terrible taste of the alcohol while Hidan continued on._

"Just like old school Sabbath, Zeppelin and Lemmyyy!"

_He handed the bottle back and Hidan took a big swig, Itachi continuing on with the lyrics to the song his father would probably call him the devil for listening to and loving. But whatever, he didn't need his approval, and damn did it feel good to disobey._

"I like to drop it down low, and make it heavyyyy."

The two men turned to each other now, screaming into the shared mic.

"I LIKE IT HEAVY!  
WHOAAA-OOOH-OH-OH!  
I LIKE IT HEAVYYYY!  
WHOA-OOOOHHH-OHHH-OOHH!"

 

 

Hidan released his grip, stepping back as a drunken and oblivious Itachi continued on, even going so far as to act out the lyrics as Hidan always did.

 

"I ride the lightning, roll with the thundeeerrr.  
Going down, down, dooown with my sister's and brother's!"

 

It was kind of stupid, really, the way people put labels on friendship, the way it was romanticized in the sense that each party gave and took simplistic materialistic things equally in some sort of unspoken agreement despite everyone knowing that any sort of relationship, platonic or not, had no real base that stemmed from anything other than complete and random coincidence. Moral character and personalities be damned, everything was based on chance.

Giving the new kid at school the time of day, even if it was with completely different intentions, had created such a profound effect on his life. Before this idiot of a best friend had come barging in he'd lived like a slave. Doing everything he could to earn love from someone he shouldn't have to earn it from, pushing himself to his limits, pushing others away so he could focus on that goal, living up to the standards always held just out of his reach because that's what he was told he had to do to earn his right to be alive. Constant frustration and anger, self-hatred, depression, constantly feeling as if all he did was disappoint everyone despite all the great successes he had. Feeling worthless because he wasn't consistently the best at everything he did, because he wasn't exactly like his father who stomped on anything and everyone in his way to get what he wanted. He didn't _want_ to be that kind of person, and not until that moment had he realized... he didn't _have_ to.

 

"I fell in love with the darkest parts!" He said, moving over to bump his shoulder against Hidan, just standing there with that usual smirk.

  
"Standing on the side of the wild-at-heart!"

 

In came this distaster of a human that was rash and impulsive and angry and everything that a teenage Itachi Uchiha had had hammered into his head to avoid and never be a victim to, to never let show because it was disgraceful to let others think that you weren't more than just human.  
He came in and he destroyed everything and in the midst of the oblivion it left Itachi in, he shone a light on the ashes and pointed out the flowers growing beneath it. Tore down the walls that had boxed him in and let him see the outside, that there was more to life than just trying to please someone who would never be pleased, to earn acknowledgement from someone who had no respect for anyone but himself. That you could live how you wanted, _be_ who you wanted, whether you were given permission to or not.

Where would his life be if he hadn't given this colossal headache of a man a chance? What if he'd never stood up to his father, if he'd remained a part of the family and continued the endless quest to gain equality in that man's eyes and earn a place in the family, as if he'd chosen to be a part of this and had to fill some requirement before he could start having control over his own life.

Would he have ever discovered his love of psychology, how wonderful it felt to be able to help other's tame their demons and live happily as well? Would he have ever made a difference in anyone else's life? Would he have left town to move to a bigger city where he could climb higher in a career and earn more money for the sake of the family name? Would he still be living under his father's disapproving shadow? Would he have even held onto his sanity? Would he have continued this endless struggle to the day he died, leaving nothing behind him that had any real worth?

If Hidan hadn't literally beaten sense into him over that insiginficant arguement, for all two minutes that that moment had taken of his life, made that whole stupid scene, he wouldn't be where he was now. He'd still be living in fear of never being able to have what he wanted; approval, acceptance... Thinking that he _needed_ these things to ever be able to be happy. That if he could just have that, the rest of his life would be perfect and he'd never have any problems.

Life is a constant battle, Hidan had made him realize, and simply trying to fit a mold someone else made for you won't fight these battles for you. Sitting and waiting and hoping that things would get better, or settleing and accepting that this is just the way things are would do nothing but make the battles harder.

Every aspect of his life was changed in that insignificant moment. He'd made more friends, eventually surrounded himself with them, done stupid and immature things that yes, he may regret occasionally, but what was the point of living if you didn't get to _experience_ it? His father had washed his hands of it, and it hurt, it still hurts, and haunts him to this day, but it didn't do anything more. It didn't kill him, he still pursued the things the wanted, became the person he atually _was_ , instead of who he was told he _should_ be.  
If it wasn't for Hidan, he would have never met Kisame. Even if by some miracle he had, surely that man, that wonderful, amazing, sweet man would never have cared for him if he were anyone else, he would never have taken the chance with Itachi. They would have never found each other, and all of the wonderful things and people that made a difference and affected him throughout his life would have just passed on by, unnoticed.

 

"I plucked the feather off a crow so I could fly.  
Since I was 13 years old I've had my fist to the sky!"

 

 

.

 

 

_"You don't believe in God... do you?" Hidan asked him as they sat on the damp grass and listened to the water trickle past, the empty bottle lay discarded between them._

_"Hn. I don't confirm or deny the existence of a higher power." He mumbled. " I'm... agnostic."_

 

"I LIKE IT LOUDER THAN THE BOOM OF A BIG BASS DRUM!

 

_"... You don't think there's_ anything _out there?" He said back, sitting up and turning to look at his friend, splayed out and relaxed in the untrimmed grass._

_He took a moment to mule this over, not really quite able to fully process thoughts seeing as this was the first time he'd ever gotten drunk and he didn't really know how to handle it." I believe in Karma, to an extent. You get what you give." He tipped his head to look at the two Hidans hugging their knees, now looking down and fiddling with a piece of grass, and blinked hard._

 

"I LIKE IT HARDER THAN THE SOUND OF GUITAR GRUNGE!"

 

_"...So you think if someone tries REALLY fucking hard, and does everything they can, that they'll get what they want?"_

_It didn't work, there was still double of everything. He let his head flop back to the ground and clenched his eyes shut. "Depends. On what they want."_

 

"I LOVE TO CRANK IT UP!"

 

_"What do you mean?"_

 

"MAKE IT THUMP!"

 

_Itachi sat up now too, after realizing he was going to throw up if he kept letting his eyes close themselves again. "Well, if it's like... money, power... stuff like that... It depends on how you try to get it. If you're a bad person, bad things will happen to you." He said without thinking._

 

"AND EVIL TO THE CORE!"

 

_"Oh." Was the only reply._

_"I used to think that anyway... nothing bad ever happens to father though... except me apparently. I guess I never really thought he was truly a bad person... I never thought_ anyone _was really a bad person. Everyone has their reasons for being the way they are." He continued on. "I think maybe I'm wrong. How could that be right, with all the horrible things_ you _had to put up with. You're not a bad person... After all if there's good people... there has to be bad ones too. Or else there wouldn't be any differentiation between them, we'd all just be people."_

 

"HEADBANGING IN THE PIT AND THROWIN' MY HORNS!"

 

_"... What if someone didn't really know what they wanted? But still tried really hard."_

_Itachi considered this. "All we can do is our best." He said, not meeting the lavender eyes when they landed on him, listening intently. "So... if you don't know what you want, you just have to appreciate what you get... yeah?"_

 

_"_ Just like old school Sabbath, Zepplin and Lemmy!"

 

_Their eyes met, and Itachi laughed at his own words, unable to decide or understand just what emotion or thoughts were hidden in those peony-pink eyes that studied him far too seriously, and too drunk to think much into it. He shifted to lay a hand to his forehead, as if it would stop all the spinning. "I don't know, I don't really know what's happening, and I think I might throw up, don't let it get in my hair okay?"_

 

"I need to drop it down low, and MAKE IT HEAVY!"

 

_Hidan snorted, relieving him of the mild distress. "You're so gay, Uchiha."_

 

 

_._

 

 

"Some like beautiful, perfect and prettyyyy.  
I see the good in the bad and the uglyyyy...

I LIKE IT HEAVY!  
WHOAAA-OOOH-OH-OH!  
I LIKE IT HEAVYYYY!  
WHOA-OOOOHHH-OHHH-OOHH!"

The music continued on but both men seemed to simultaneously run out of air then, and stopped, laughing. The song was basically over anyway but for more repetition anyway.  
With wordless agreement they both stepped off the small platform, glancing around to find the bar still completely empty except for the bartender who had a weird smile on his face as he focused on wiping down the bar.

They plopped down into their seats, Itachi blinking through the violently spinning room, and Hidan immediately grabbing up his half empty mug and draining the rest of it. He set it down loudly and gave the Uchiha a crooked grin, snapping his fingers to the side of him to get the tenders attention. Itachi only stared in confusion as the suspiciously smiling man came and refilled the mug, waiting for the grinning moron to tell him why the hell he'd drug him up there and forced him through that, aside from just forcing him to have fun.

"What the hell was that about?" He blurted out, only earning a playful punch to the shoulder.

"To make you quit being emo."

"Hn. I thought the alcohol was doing just fine with that."

"Yeahhh but liquor wears off, insecurities don't."

"Pfft, I'm not insecure." He slurred, waving his hand limply. Hidan only responded with a questioning stare.

Unable to remain sitting upright for much longer, let alone decode his insane friends expression, he could only demand an explanation. "What!?"

Hidan laughed for a second, then dropped all jovility and leaned forward, looking the shorter dead serious in the eye.

"You would be the most kickass, awesome, amazing fucking father-mother-parent- _whatever_ in the entire world. " He stayed there, holding the gaze. "If you can fucking handle _me_ , you can handle a goddamn kid. You could handle twenty of them, and they would grow up and be the best fucking people in the world."

 

A choked sound made Itachi blink in confusion until he realized it came from him.

 

"Yeah, you better not argue. Everyone who knows you fucking knows that. So quit being fucking scared of it ever happening, and think about what would happen if it did." He finally sat back at this, taking a big gulp of beer.

 

They sat in heavy silence for awhile, Itachi trying to control his breathing and make his chest stop feeling as if it were going to burst open and kill him. DamndamnDAMN this alchohol!  
Tears welled up, and he sniffed, clearing his throat and wiping them quickly away, forcing his voice to work and not even minding when it came out as more of a squeak.  
"Thank you... Hidan San."

There was only a nod and a smile in response before he brought the glass to his lips for the hundredth time that night and drained what was practically an entire 20 o.z mug.

"So... How the fuck are we getting home?" He said then, nonchalant and completley at ease as if none of that had happened and he wasn't wasted beyond comprehension. Which, hell, he might not be, hell if Itachi knew, or cared really, as the words slammed into Itachi like a freight train and he groaned loudly, letting his head fall onto the countertop. Way to go Uchiha, this is what happens when you 'let go' and 'have fun'.

"I... have no idea."

"I'm just gonna pass out in your car, like we did that night. You remember? At the creek?"

Itachi only let out another long groan in response. How could that twit be so damn talkative still? He felt like he was going to fall over, throw up and pass out. Hopefully not in that order, because that would be horrific.

"Shit, that's where we should have gone. I wonder if it's all dried up now. Have you been out there?"

Another groan.

"Yeah, let's do that sometime soon, just for the hell of it.

...

...  
oh shit are you gonna fucking hurl!?"

 

A high-pitched groan.

 

"Uuugh, goddammit. Still can't hold your fucking liquor. Even with those pansy-ass drinks. What the hell were those?"

"Daggeries.." Itachi slurred.

"What? You said you didn't want beer because it was empty calories but you go and drink _that_ sugary shit!? How many calories do you think is in those fucking things?"

"FOREVER!" Itachi said loudly, flailing up from the bar and sliding off the seat. Hidan rose with him in surprise, and good thing he did as the Uchiha suddenly lost the ability to keep himself standing and was soon being supported by his loud, obnoxious best friend who would undoubtedly tease him about this _relentlessly_ in the morning.

 

"Don't let me throw up in my hair." He whined as he realized he was being dragged from the building, ignoring the loud mumbling Hidan was doing. However the second voice brought him slightly out of his stupor, and he realized the bartender was apparently helping Hidan get him out to the vehicle.

 

"Ohhh... the big manly man can't carry me by himself..." He slurred, not sure if he was actually forming real words or not. He must have been though, as he was suddenly hoisted to an actual standing position, one arm around a familiar shoulder.

He managed to focus his eyes long enough to see the man with the obvious fake blond hair grinning at them.  
"You two are adorable, by the way. Made my night a hell of a lot more fun." He said to Hidan, his voice echoeing in a way it probably shouldn't.

"No one fucking asked your opinion." Hidan snapped back, apparently having had the car keys in his pocket the whole time as he pulled them out and squinted as he tried to decipher which one would unlock the car. Itachi's eyes narrowed and he opened his mouth to chastise him before he was interrupted.

"Sorry, just the cutest couple I've seen in a long time. Had to let you know."

 

Both men went rigid, exchanged glances, and turned slowly toward him, disbelieving.

 

 

"Hida..." Itachi said slowly.

Hidan was grinding his jaw and glareing the glare of death at the poor man, who had his hands up and was backing away slowly.

"Nope, no. Uh uh." He said, shoving away from the man supporting him and waving off his confused look, poking a finger at his chest in a wonderful and ironic display of a bossy girlfriend. "You are NOT gonna leave me here alone just to go get in a fight with that idiot."

"Hey I really didn't mean any offense-" The stranger sputtered out.

"Shut up!" Both of them said in unison, glaring equal glares of anger.

"You listen here." Itachi said, pointing in what he hoped was the general direction of the stranger. "This man right here is the _best_ friend anyone could ever have. He's an idiot, and _loud_ , and... _rude_ , and offensive at pretty much every second of the day but if you ever need someone to rely on _... this. person. right. here_ -" He said, slapping Hidan on the chest with each word for emphasis. "Is the person you should call."

Itachi craned his head around to smiled drunkenly at the albino who was now looking at him as if he were the wierdest and yet most intruiging thing he'd ever seen, then turned back to the loudmouth bartender. "That being said, I wouldn't fuck him even with _your_ dick."

A snort sounded from behind, despite that Itachi mustered the darkest and most malicious glare he could and kept it firmly situatied on his face as he stared the bartender down.  
The man looked at him in both fear and confusion, still holding his hands up. "O-okay? Sorry... I'm leaving now." He started backing away further until he could turn around and move briskly back into the bar.

When Itachi turned around his best friend was doubled over, laughing his ass off. Itachi only calmly plucked the keys out of his hand, unlocked the car and opened the door.  
He plopped himself down in the seat, managed to recline it back, closed his eyes and smiled to himself at the sound of Hidan's hysterical laughter.

_The best kind of friends._ He thought, laughing inside his head when this struck his as absoloutly hilarious for reasons he didn't care to discover.

And then he was out.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Itachi has daddy issues. Though that was made pretty clear from the beginning. And here we witness one of the very rare and elusive moments where the psychotic albino is the one to comfort someone else instead of everyone else always bending backward for him. He's gotten so mature. *wipes away a tear*  
> And of course the long awaited and much requested reveal of where and how their friendship began and the mass amounts of sugary diabetes-causing platonic bromance fluff and also humor that occurred in there.
> 
> So yeah, this one was even more fun than the last one and I'm super glad I decided to do it.
> 
> The song used is "I like it heavy" by Halestorm. I was actually a debate between three different Halestorm songs on which I should use, 'I am fire' and 'Amen' being the other two, but that one just seemed to fit better. Thank FluffyIsEmo for that. She also beta'd for me, cuz she's awesome.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope you guys enjoyed. Ignore typos, misspells, blahblahblah you know the rest.
> 
> Loves.
> 
> -Wierdo

**Author's Note:**

> As much as I would love to, and as many requests as I've gotten for it, I can't do a sequel due to the demands of daily life. It would just end up getting left there to rot halfway through like the other stories I still haven't finished. But I've got quite a few more of these one-shots planned which will be divided up into chapters. Not really 'planned' but just general ideas I intend to vomit some words onto and mix into something worth reading. I really loved doing this, as much of a pain and the ass as it was to do it. (It's excruciatingly hard to write with two children under five and busybody husband that's pretty much my polar opposite as far as personalities and interests go.) BUT I'm excited to do more. So hopefully this little project won't putter out and die like the others. Thoughts and reviews would certainly help keep the motivation strong.
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone, forgive the typos it just as un-beta'd as everything I do is.
> 
> Much love.  
> -Wierdo


End file.
